The other day in therapy, Kitty asked if she would have the same issues if she'd been born into our family. The answer was of course no.
We did talk about how some of her problems were genetic (bipolar, ADHD and learning disabilities - which do actually run in our (Hubby's and my) family, but that because of the way she grew up (moving a lot, trauma, missing school) most of these are probably worse than they would have been. It was a tough conversation for all of us.
Still it was the first time she ever expressed wishing she'd been my daughter by birth and I have to admit that gave me a HUGE warm fuzzy feeling.
She's got a long way to go, but I'm getting spontaneous hugs and kisses, she comes to me for help if she's hurting, she asks me to do her hair and makeup... we're getting there.