Life after high school - college, career and lifestyle

Apparently Bear told his therapist that he was still planning on moving out when he's 17 (more on this in a later post). Hubby says he thinks the therapist is asking Bear to do a budget for living on his own.

At the same time, because the girls are in 8th grade this year they are supposed to be doing transition planning for high school. This means they have to start deciding what they want to be and do after high school so they can choose a "track." (Which I think is crazy! What 8th grader knows what they want to "major" in? Yes, they're told they can change tracks, but it means they'll have missed out on some of the classes needed (which means they'll be behind) and will have taken classes they can't use now (which means they'll become electives, preventing the child from exploring other options through elective classes - maybe discovering a love for art or animal sciences).

Bob will most likely choose a college track and want AP classes (advanced placement) as well as some other courses required for college like foreign language and higher levels of math. She'll also want to start trying out electives in the fields she's interested in. Currently Bob intends to become a lawyer (my fault totally - whenever she argued or tried to get away with something on a technicality, I told her she was going to be a lawyer when she grew up - is that called self-fulfilling prophecy if it's Mom's fault?). Of course I think she'd still prefer to be a wizard, but Hogwarts is not accepting Muggles without magic right now.

Kitty, like Bear, will not be on the college track. Because of her special education classes she will graduate with what I call a "Diploma Light" she will need to attend at least 2 years of community college before being ready (assuming she ever is) for a regular 4 year college. Kitty had decided quite some time ago that she was going to be a surgeon. We questioned why she didn't want to be a vet since she professes to love animals, but she claimed she didn't want to see animals in pain (people in pain are fine obviously). She has this all worked out. She's going to become a rich surgeon and she and her husband (I'm not sure who it is currently - used to be Jesse McCartney) are going to open an animal shelter. We have discussed the fact that surgeons need approximately 16 years of schooling, but not discussed her academic abilities as they relate to this. Recently we had to fill out a transition readiness survey for her - umm, let's just say it's a good thing we've got 4 1/2 yrs to help her get situated in reality.

We've been working with the school for quite awhile about Bear's career goals. Bear's current goals are not feasible due to his mental illness. Military will not take him and as far as we can tell neither will the police force (this is a good thing, because believe me you don't want my son to have a gun!). His only other stated goal is to be a lawyer, but we all know he would not be able to get through law school. We talked to the school's career counselor, but he says that they no longer have the great software they used to have for helping children find careers (CHIPs?) and the software they have instead is broken... great! So Bear continues to float in limbo, assuming he will be able to meet his current goals and therefore not even trying to find ones that work. We would prefer to find a new course before we sink the ship he's on.

(We do eventually have conversations with Kitty and Bear regarding vocational goals vs skills and abilities, that's how I got my official title, "Dreamkiller.")

For quite awhile Hubby and I have been planning on doing a Money 101 class so this seemed as good a time as any. During a family meeting, Hubby talked about needs, wants, and extras, and income. He gave the kids homework to write down what they wanted and how much it would cost. Love ya Hubby, but even I found the assignment abstract and confusing.

As part of Bob's school work, she had to fill out a bunch of online surveys. Some of them involved careers that met her interests and I spent over an hour explaining different careers - what an agricultural engineer, adjudicator, production assistant... are and do (I had to look a lot of them up!).

One such survey was called Texas Reality Check, and it was a fascinating tool that allowed you to figure out how much your chosen lifestyle would cost and therefore what kind of career you need to afford that. Bear didn't get a chance to do it, but the other kids did, and I had to laugh at Kitty's choices. Her luxury apartment and lifestyle meant she had to make at least $79K a year, but that's OK, because surgeons make $189K. We did talk about how she would live during those 16 years she was in school.

Then we went to an apartment locator, and talked about what was available and how much it would cost (the reality check numbers were a little off on apartment costs I think). We talked about how you would do your laundry, bus routes, whether or not there were jobs nearby, grocery stores, gated communities and the reputation of the complex - one complex she said would not be safe for the girls, that older building meant higher utilities.... We still might show them actual apartments. I haven't decided yet.

Next - Grocery shopping