Sewing

Bob as Cinderella in a fancy dress I made for her. Ponito as Prince Charming in his own homemade costume. Here's more of my kids' costumes: Ponito costumes here
Bob costumes here

I've made some unusual projects and refused even more. Talk of the naked bridesmaid reminded me of some of them. I haven't scanned in much of my portfolio and some things I never got pictures of, so not all of these are my work - they just look like it so you can see what I'm talking about.

Some I turned down:

• A bikini for Weimaraner's with 4 tops, one for each set of nipples. The guy claimed he was making a calendar. (FYI if you want to see some funny/cool pet costumes: Google Why Dogs Bite People - there's a least 3 different e-mails going around - each with different costumes)
• A sleeper, diapers and bib for a man with unusual sexual habits. This one was a phone call - creepy.
• "Unusual" undergarments for a 6'3" transvestite (although I did make him a skirt), and he was a super nice guy (ugly woman though).

Bob in a dress made specially for a cousin's wedding. She wasn't in the wedding party, but since she coordinated with the bridesmaids and flower girl, she got to hand out programs and so in her mind anyway, participate in the wedding.

Bob and the actual flower girl (Shh! I thought Bob's dress was prettier, but then I think silver lame - the girl's silver metallic top - is just tacky. Shh!).

Speaking of tacky... presenting The World's Tackiest Wedding Dress.

The bride wanted a dress she could wear to the JP's office and then out clubbing afterward.

It's hard to tell in this "wedding portrait" she gave me, but this dress was made from cheap white t-shirt material (I'd been using as a size sample for cheerleading costumes I made for a group of emotionally disturbed tween and teenagers). She was so tiny and was paying me so little ($70 - if she gave me a picture for my portfolio, this was the 3x5 picture she gave me!), that I figured it wouldn't hurt to take a short cut and try it on so I could skip making a pattern just for her. To my surprise she said she was happy with the sample (?!) and I couldn't talk her out of it so I actually saved myself more than a step.

She wanted a jagged hem (think Tinkerbell) and if the v of one of the points had met in the front, you would have been able to see her *hoohah.* I added some sheer material to the top and pearls to "fancy it up some," but there was only so much I could do. Still, she loved it so I guess that's all that matters.

I don't have a picture of the Naked Bridesmaid, so you'll just have to use your imagination. This was the most similar dress I could find and of course this is a white girl. The real Naked Bridesmaid's dress was tighter. But this was the best I could do with photoshop.

World's talled dude in costume (sorry it's sideways). This guy is like 6'7". One of the strangest people I've sewn for, and I mean that in the nicest possible way! Not as awkward as making clothes for transvestites though.

One eye, one horn flying Purple People-Eater costume. Technically this was paper mache not sewing, but what portfolio of the unusual would be complete without it?!

For my wedding I bartered for most everything (that's how I got the title "Barter Queen."). I sewed dresses for both bridesmaids, the best person, and of course myself. I bartered a horse blanket and an English riding jacket for the wedding flowers.

For the wedding cake I made outfits for the porcelain dolls the baker made. I've also made period costumes for a shop that sold and made antique doll reproductions, but I quit because the Amish woman who made the sweetest ruffly baby doll outfits would do it much cheaper than I could and no one cared that mine were historically accurate. (the sweet baby dolls sold better, go figure)(These are not ones I made. Mine were fancier, but you get the idea).

The photographer got living room curtains in exchange for the bridal portraits, but she made me pay for the actual wedding pictures (and then didn't take any throughout the entire ceremony!). I found her through our church, so when her pastor said no flash photography during the ceremony she listened (he didn't mean her!). All of our wedding photos were staged while the guests stood around at the reception waiting for us. None of our pictures have anyone in the pews. Oh well.

Over the years I've done a lot of home decor too, but I'll save that for another post as this one has too many pictures already. Here's some samples from previous posts if you're dying to see - Kid room decorating made the bedding, rugs, curtains, (beds and murals...)

A little extra energy

Been feeling a little more energy this weekend. I actually got some work done around the house. The front door handle has been breaking for several weeks now (the little part that sticks into the door frame won't completely retract most of the time). Since the door already sticks, this means you can spend 2 minutes pushing down the tab on the outside (or twisting the handle on the inside) and pushing the door trying to get it to open. The house is 15 years old and so many things are falling apart - this is not even the only broken door.

This weekend I found a new door handle on mega clearance (and then my little sister paid for it! Yea! She picked up the tab for a few things since she's not paying me to alter her wedding dress). When we took off the old handle to put on the new we discovered they're not the same size and shapes. So I cleaned and painted the front door with primer to hide the old marks.

Still need to decide what color to paint it. Normally I'd do red, but the house is red brick and I think that would look wrong. Maybe forest green... hmm.

I've been working on altering my little sister's wedding dress (This is it, but hers now has lace straps, is 3 inches shorter, and has had the back adjusted to accommodate her enormous bosom and little ribs and waist - think Dolly Parton!), and it's kind of gotten me in a sewing mood.

My girls aren't in the wedding, but I let them buy semi-formals (at a resale shop of course) that they could wear again for the end of the school year dance. They were aided by one of Bob's friends. Bob's friend picked a black dress for Bob (and helped Kitty choose a black dress too). Probably before she even got home, Bob decided she didn't like the dress. Plus, my sister wasn't totally thrilled by the fact that the girl's dresses are black.

We went to a bridesmaid shop to see what Bob would have chosen if she had a lot of choices. We'd done this a couple of weeks before with Kitty to see what looked more flattering on her figure (not easy to do as Kitty is very busty and has a large belly). Bob of course fell in love with a $150 dress chiffon and satin dress (actually all the bridesmaid dresses seemed to be $150). Next thing I knew I was buying fabric! I am officially insane.

(Bob's dress will be a little more teal than this one, but this is the style.)

Now not only do I have to finish my sister's dress, fix my ugly Matron of Honor dress** by adding a lace inset to and mending it (I got it for 2 dollars cause it had a ripped out zipper), but I also have to make a fancy dress for my daughter... aaand... make ivory jackets for both girls to make their dresses more appropriate for the wedding, and lighten them up for a spring afternoon wedding. (Has to be both girls because if I don't do anything for Kitty she'll feel horribly abused. Her jacket will need to be fancier and "better" than Bob's to justify the fact that I made Bob's dress).

Yea, I'm nuts.

** My dress is not really ugly, but I hate the color. I love jewel tones and black. My dress is sort of a cafe au lait which matches the lace on my sister's dress. I hate browns and they don't look good on me. Plus the dress reminds me of "The Naked Bridesmaid." Back when I used to sew professionally I made a bridesmaid dress for a girl who had been given the fabric and pattern by an out of state bride. The dress was very form fitting. The color - cafe au lait. The girl's skin color? Also cafe au lait. She truly looked naked.

(To the right is "my" dress, but you have to imagine it in a size 18, with my ample bosum making the neckline practically obscene and pushing the shoulder straps off the shoulder. I'm adding a lace inset (from leftovers off the wedding gown) to cover my cleavage. I'll also be wearing "pearls" in the exact same Frappucino color (that's what the store calls it). The other bridesmaids (ages 7 and 5) will be wearing Ivory dresses with Frappucino accents. They both get tiaras like the bride. *pout*

When the past won't stay past!

Yesterday, Bear mentioned that his and Kitty's little sisters would be staying with Biograndma. Of course I had to let them talk to them. I can't say it out loud, but I wish I could just make all the biofamily just go away. It brings up so much for the kids, although they are finally getting to the point that they don't act out as much. Actually yesterday it was the biokids that were trying to drive me insane. Lots of "I wish we still only had two kids." I have to admit that yesterday I was a little cranky and short with all the kids which probably made it all worse.



They hate shopping with me, but when Hubby teaches scuba, they can't stay home so they have to go. We went to Salvation Army as usual and got more clothes (Ponito is growing again and needed jeans. Bob needed PE clothes for school.) Bob and I got in a big argument because I found the shorts she needed in the men's department (have to be plain and long). She hates that men's shoes and clothes fit. Everyone was bored and whiny.



We ate lunch out at Burger King (a big treat), but I made them use coupons so they didn't all get exactly what they wanted. More pouting! Then I told them I had a surprise activity planned. Kitty immediately starts guessing that we're going to the airport to pick up her sisters! *sigh* She knows it won't happen, but she keeps bringing it up. The activity was a children's sewing class. They would learn how to sew on a button and stitch together a felt animal. This went over like a lead balloon!! I used to be a professional seamstress so I want my kids to at least be able to sew on a button, but I know they don't want to learn from me.



I stayed with them, because I didn't feel comfortable leaving the teachers with my whiny, emotionally disturbed... well, brats is the nicest way to describe them at the moment! After about 20 minutes I stepped away. I realized the kids were behaving worse with me around. I went to talk to some of the other moms. Bear was the oldest kid there, but there was a pretty 14 year old girl there with her cousins (she is interested in Project Runway type sewing). He ended up hanging out with his siblings though. I had to keep sending kids back to the sewing tables, they wanted to hang out with me!



Bob has worked on sewing with Grandma a little so she had sewn a button before. She insisted on sewing the felt animal her own way, but was still the first kid to finish. There were about 25 children there. The majority of them between ages 8-10. For the longest time, my two were the only boys. Toward the end, the twin of one of the little girls showed up and he decided to make an animal too. After finishing her animal, Bob proceeded to actually lay on the floor and whine about wanting to leave. I told them we weren't going to leave until all 4 kids were done.



Ponito and Kitty finally finished, but Bear was still plugging away. Looking at his and Kitty's work, fine motor skills are something they definitely need to work on. Ponito ended up going back and reworking Kitty's project! The class was 2 hours. Bear was the last child to finish. We were there 2 hours and 15 minutes!! I had a nice time visiting with the parents and one of the teachers was someone I knew from my past life (pre-kids!). The last time I saw her was a fashion show. I found out later I was pregnant with Bob at the time. The teacher was a little surprised to see all my kids!

So after finishing the shopping (Mrs. Bairds thrift store where I bought them snack pies, Big Lots, and Sam's Club), we managed to squeeze all the stuff in the trunk of my little car, with the bottled water and a couple of other things in the front seat (which meant Bear could no longer sit up front without his knees touching his nose) and more in the back seat in laps.

My car is already very tiny when you include, Big Bear (5'9", 190lbs, BIG shoulders, the inability to keep his knees less than a foot apart, and the constant twitching and shifting his shoulders - nervous tic), Bob (5'8", 170lbs and size 13W feet), Kitty ("only" 5'4", 130lbs and is recently obsessed with sitting up front so she can do the shifting - it's an automatic so she puts it in reverse and drive), and poor little Ponito is required to always sit in the middle of the backseat, because as the smallest/youngest one he is never allowed to take a turn up front, and the middle seat has no head rest so it's not as safe for all the big kids. The other kids rotate who sits in the front seat.

So on the way home, Bear asks to call the Grandparents so they can talk to their sisters. He'd tried earlier, but no one answered. He'd managed to keep my cell phone - something that irritates me since he's already stolen it from me once. He spent a few minutes talking to Grandma and the little girls - actually a pretty perfuctory conversation. Then Kitty got on.

Kitty found out that the baby was at Grandma's house, and so was biomom. They were all getting ready to go to a birthday party. Kitty talked to her sisters about innocuous stuff (how old the girls were, when is their birthday...). When she found out the baby was there, she asked if "Barb" (not her real name) was there. Apparently the girls asked why she said "Barb" instead of "Mom." Kitty gave me a furtive glance and said that since her adoption she had a new Mom. She said "Barb" will always be her mom though. At least she didn't say "real" mom.

This has got to be so hard on Kitty. She misses her biofamily so much. I always make it perfectly clear that I understand and it is OK for her to miss them (and her foster family, and Nebraska) I NEVER run down Barb, although I have had to occasionally point out that some of her choices weren't the best. It's such a fine line. I don't want Kitty (or Bear) to think that Barb just couldn't handle them at the time (and that that was all thier fault) and now that they were "better" she would happily take them back and everything would be fine (although Barb does act like the kids are just out on loan to me.) I don't mind the kids continuing their relationships with their biofamily. Now though Kitty is wanting to know why she can't talk to Barb.

When we first got the kids, we were told by caseworkers and therapists that Barb was unable to accept any blame for what happened and that she actively blamed the children. The fact that her neglectful parenting, choice in men (abusive toward both her and the kids), constantly running away from her problems - usually out of state, etc. was a big factor in why the children had issues was never acknowledged by her. We were told it was in the childrens' best interest to not allow her to communicate with them.

A biofamily member gave Barb my e-mail address and she started communicating with me. It was evident that nothing had really changed in her attitude toward the kids. She seemed to think that they were still "hers."

I have told Kitty that biomom still acted like it was the children's fault that they were no longer in the home. Kitty says she now knows that is not true, and therefore it doesn't matter what biomom says. She wants to know why she cannot talk to biomom. She assures me that she would not say anything she shouldn't. I just don't know what to do. Early on in attachment therapy, we had Kitty pretend that an empty chair was biomom and tried to get her to tell biomom what she wanted to say (to help with closure). Kitty was unable to handle it even for a few seconds and ended up having to be restrained. That was over a year ago though.

EMDR therapy and 1 1/2 years of attachment therapy have helped Kitty a lot. She still does not accept hugs and affection from me unless it is on her own terms, she still has the occasional meltdown, but she no longer rages. Maybe she could/should talk to biomom. Maybe I should set up the conversation to give her some closure (which she never got) - I know biomom wouldn't be pushing for "closure" though.

Kitty has definite symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (as does Bear). One thing that means is that she always sees things as black and white. I worry that she will only remember the good times with biomom and block out the bad stuff. I worry that she will see me as her warden, keeping her from her "real" family. I know she wants the new baby to know her. I know she misses her sisters. Right now she wants to bring her sisters here, but what if she decides she would rather be there?

Right now, as far as I know, biomom is currently single. She bought a house and went back to school. She kicked out her latest abusive boyfriend (the baby's father) months ago. All I know about her life right now makes it seem as though everything is fine. Why wouldn't Kitty think about going back? Bear hates biomom at the moment (actually since he moved in with us), so I don't worry about him wanting to go back. With his RAD (a serious attachment disorder) he will most likely never really want much of a relationship with his little sisters beyone the "Hi. How are you?" stuff. Kitty on the other hand, is definitely torn. She's my little girl for now, but the minute she turns 18 I can see her going back.

OK, enough angst. I don't need to worry about this right now. I'm going to rest my sore arms and catch up on my reading for the last 45 minutes before all the kids get home from school.

Mary