Sewing

Bob as Cinderella in a fancy dress I made for her. Ponito as Prince Charming in his own homemade costume. Here's more of my kids' costumes: Ponito costumes here
Bob costumes here

I've made some unusual projects and refused even more. Talk of the naked bridesmaid reminded me of some of them. I haven't scanned in much of my portfolio and some things I never got pictures of, so not all of these are my work - they just look like it so you can see what I'm talking about.

Some I turned down:

• A bikini for Weimaraner's with 4 tops, one for each set of nipples. The guy claimed he was making a calendar. (FYI if you want to see some funny/cool pet costumes: Google Why Dogs Bite People - there's a least 3 different e-mails going around - each with different costumes)
• A sleeper, diapers and bib for a man with unusual sexual habits. This one was a phone call - creepy.
• "Unusual" undergarments for a 6'3" transvestite (although I did make him a skirt), and he was a super nice guy (ugly woman though).

Bob in a dress made specially for a cousin's wedding. She wasn't in the wedding party, but since she coordinated with the bridesmaids and flower girl, she got to hand out programs and so in her mind anyway, participate in the wedding.

Bob and the actual flower girl (Shh! I thought Bob's dress was prettier, but then I think silver lame - the girl's silver metallic top - is just tacky. Shh!).

Speaking of tacky... presenting The World's Tackiest Wedding Dress.

The bride wanted a dress she could wear to the JP's office and then out clubbing afterward.

It's hard to tell in this "wedding portrait" she gave me, but this dress was made from cheap white t-shirt material (I'd been using as a size sample for cheerleading costumes I made for a group of emotionally disturbed tween and teenagers). She was so tiny and was paying me so little ($70 - if she gave me a picture for my portfolio, this was the 3x5 picture she gave me!), that I figured it wouldn't hurt to take a short cut and try it on so I could skip making a pattern just for her. To my surprise she said she was happy with the sample (?!) and I couldn't talk her out of it so I actually saved myself more than a step.

She wanted a jagged hem (think Tinkerbell) and if the v of one of the points had met in the front, you would have been able to see her *hoohah.* I added some sheer material to the top and pearls to "fancy it up some," but there was only so much I could do. Still, she loved it so I guess that's all that matters.

I don't have a picture of the Naked Bridesmaid, so you'll just have to use your imagination. This was the most similar dress I could find and of course this is a white girl. The real Naked Bridesmaid's dress was tighter. But this was the best I could do with photoshop.

World's talled dude in costume (sorry it's sideways). This guy is like 6'7". One of the strangest people I've sewn for, and I mean that in the nicest possible way! Not as awkward as making clothes for transvestites though.

One eye, one horn flying Purple People-Eater costume. Technically this was paper mache not sewing, but what portfolio of the unusual would be complete without it?!

For my wedding I bartered for most everything (that's how I got the title "Barter Queen."). I sewed dresses for both bridesmaids, the best person, and of course myself. I bartered a horse blanket and an English riding jacket for the wedding flowers.

For the wedding cake I made outfits for the porcelain dolls the baker made. I've also made period costumes for a shop that sold and made antique doll reproductions, but I quit because the Amish woman who made the sweetest ruffly baby doll outfits would do it much cheaper than I could and no one cared that mine were historically accurate. (the sweet baby dolls sold better, go figure)(These are not ones I made. Mine were fancier, but you get the idea).

The photographer got living room curtains in exchange for the bridal portraits, but she made me pay for the actual wedding pictures (and then didn't take any throughout the entire ceremony!). I found her through our church, so when her pastor said no flash photography during the ceremony she listened (he didn't mean her!). All of our wedding photos were staged while the guests stood around at the reception waiting for us. None of our pictures have anyone in the pews. Oh well.

Over the years I've done a lot of home decor too, but I'll save that for another post as this one has too many pictures already. Here's some samples from previous posts if you're dying to see - Kid room decorating made the bedding, rugs, curtains, (beds and murals...)