This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Behavior Intervention Plan

At the ARD I kept asking for more rapid consequences both to keep Bear out of trouble and to help him learn that there are consequences for his actions. Loud Lady kept fighting me because what I was asking for was stricter than what other students got (like I care!).

One of the proposed consequences was a referral if Bear got two tardies or two absences. We were OK with that, except they meant in the same class. Bear likes to spread his tardies and skipping around. He's a smart kid too. This gives him 9 "get out of jail free" cards and he knows it. Also I don't think skipping class should have the same wussie consequence as being late. Not only does he not care about referrals (I think he actually enjoys detention), but if he's late, what's his motivation to bother to go to class at all if the consequences are the same anyway?

I was pushing for a Central Reporting Person - someone who's job was to keep track of Bear's moods, attendance, behavior, etc. Bear's case manager supposedly did that last year, but I think we all knew it didn't really happen. The ARD team said that Bear's new case manager wouldn't have the time to do that. Supposedly the behavior program is supposed to keep track of it, but we'll see. With him at the special school for most of the day though it probably won't be much of an issue.

Loud Lady and others kept saying, that the special school (and a lot of the restrictions we were asking for) is not real world. They kept fighting us on getting the structure and rules that Bear craves/needs. I finally said toward the end of the meeting,

"You keep saying that Bear's home school is "real world," but it's not. Not for Bear anyway. Bear is setting up his life so that it is very small, structured and safe, and that's what's right for him. This high school has 4,000 students! This is not the real world for him. The special school is much closer to real world for Bear."

We didn't get to use the amazing site with all the IEP goals that Struggling to Stand found for me and I painstakingly cut and pasted all the ones related to behavior. The meeting was 2 1/2 hours long and having him in the special school meant most of our concerns weren't going to be addressed because they are non-issues when he's as supervised as he's going to be.


Did I mention he's admitted to doing drugs at school with his friends? This year. Usually he doesn't confess to stuff for at least 1 1/2 years so he's sure he's not able to get consequences for it.

Speaking of consequences I could use some help determining consequences at home for missing the bus, spending hours in the bathroom with the water running, and not taking meds. This behavior needs to stop.

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