This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I'm going to be a big sister!

Ok, obviously I "borrowed" this picture - my name is not Peyton and you can't order this t-shirt by clicking on it.

My dad and step-mom are considering adopting one or two boys. The boys are youngest of a sibling group of 3, ages 11, 13 and 15 from South Africa. Their mother died of MS, their father is in jail and parental rights are most likely being terminated if they aren't already. The boys are currently living with their mother's sister who is friends with my parents, but the aunt also has MS and is dying. Noise actually physically hurts her and of course the two youngest boys are noisy. There is talk of splitting the boys up among family members, but this would keep them close by (oldest would stay with the aunt), and the suitability of some of the other family members is in question. An aunt is considering moving to Colorado to be near the other boys so she may take one of the younger boys instead of my parents taking both.

My parents have apparently been taking care of the two younger boys off and on all Summer. When first I heard of them my dad was calling me from an amusement park, and assumed I already knew of their existance (that's the problem with living in different states and having 5 kids - the parents forget who they've told what). My parents are rapidly approaching their 70s, but feel called to adopt these boys.

I have to say it's an interesting idea. I never thought of my dad and step-mom as particularly nurturing or interested in adoption - in fact they discouraged us (but I think more because of the kids traumatic background than anything else, and they've been supportive after the adoptions, albeit from a distance since they live across the country).

I do think it's ironic that the boys are 11 and 13 (since this is the age Kitty and Bear were when they came to us, and the age my sister and I were when my mom remarried). The good news is that it doesn't sound like these boys have the traumatic background my kids did, and my parents are retired so will have lots of time to spend with them. Still... a lot of new concepts. Wow!

Anyway, nothing is official yet. Just trying to wrap my head around this. (If they end up adopting the 11 year old boy that would mean Ponito, my sister's oldest son, and the boy would all be the same age! Add in my new niece (the one who dresses and acts like a boy) who is exactly one year younger than Ponito (6 months younger than my nephew) and that would be a lot of little "boys" running around.

Ponito (grey jacket), my nephew, my new niece, and in front hanging on to his sister's jacket is one of the twins, my new nephew.

2 comments: said...

wow that would be really great if it all worked out.

GB's Mom said...

I hope it all works out!