This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


Monday was Kitty's first day back to school after being hospitalized (unless you count the time she was in the IEP meeting). Kitty came home upset because the behavior staff at school wouldn't let her call me. She had a substitute in math class today, and apparently they were learning a new concept, which stressed Kitty out. The sub didn’t catch Kitty’s subtle comments that she was feeling overwhelmed. So Kitty resorted to telling the sub she needed to use the restroom to summon the behavior staff (they have to shadow her every time she leaves the classroom).

Kitty requested to call home, but was told no. After walking around with the behavior staff for awhile, Kitty again requested to call home, but was told that The Crisis Plan said she couldn’t call home. This is new so she was confused (as was I, since this wasn't how I interpreted the results of the last IEP meeting).

One change that was added to the Crisis Plan was that if she left the classroom she was supposed to be able to go to another location and continue to receive her lessons taught by a special education teacher. She was offered the opportunity to work on math in the Learning Lab, but since it was a new concept and she didn’t have any paperwork to work on, she felt that the person in the Learning Lab wouldn’t be able to help her. So she said no thanks. The staff sent her back to class, even though she wanted to call me and to go home.

When she got home, very upset, I told her that next time she needed to tell the behavior staff that she wanted to learn in the learning lab if she left class (even if it was a new concept), and that it was OK to leave class for something besides having make up work. She can leave if she's feeling stressed and overwhelmed. I told her that the staff wasn't allowed to ask her if she felt like hurting herself, so if she did feel that way she really needed to tell them. Then I assured her that I'd talk to the school the next day and find out what was going on with not being allowed to call me.

I sent an e-mail requesting a copy of the new Crisis Plan and asking why things were being handled this way. I got no response, and Tuesday was worse. She was not allowed to leave when she was stressed, and was still not allowed to call me. She did leave class twice to do some make-up work in the Learning Lab later in the day.

When I picked her up after school, we went straight to her regular therapy appointment. She started off OK, but shut down almost instantly (spent most of the session with a blanket over her head, refusing to come out. Got her home and somehow managed to avoid a major meltdown at home.

Today she couldn't even handle the thought of going to school. On the way in I called to see if I could get an appointment with the new AP (couldn't), and by the time I hung up, she was begging to go to the crisis center. We went and she needs to go back to the psych hospital. We're trying a different one this time.

Also stopped by The Settlement Home to check it out, and it seems great... but they don't have any beds and probably won't until January. So still looking.

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