This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Kitty's coming home

Kitty has 3 areas that cause her extreme anxiety:

1. diagnoses/trauma - which is with her always of course

2. family

3. school/peers

The minute she enters school she no longer has to deal with family, and can usually hold it together. When she enters the hospital most of 2 issues (family and school) are gone and she can hold it together even better.

Plus, school and the hospital are looking at the short-term so they can bribe her, placate her, and put off and ignore her issues. They also are comparing her to other teens who act out, and in comparison, Kitty's issues look less severe. (She has admitted to staff that she feels like hitting some of the girls at the hospital that are picking on her, but to them the important fact is that she's not doing it. To us the important fact is that she's having those feelings at all! She's usually not aggressive like this).

Add in the fact that Kitty doesn't trust them, and her self-esteem is totally dependent on other's positive opinion of her so she won't act out in front of them... and Kitty can hide her issues for a really looooonnnng time.

I did find out from the social worker during the family session, that Kitty's issues are because we haven't been letting her see her trauma therapist independently. Apparently she needs to have her own therapist, and then she'll be all better. *sarcasm drip*

I talked to a friend of mine and she pointed out that Wellb*trin which Kitty started taking recently can make her aggressive. The "miracle" drug Ser*quel that she's taking (suposedly to replace a mood stabilizer and anti-psychotic that was at a super high level) is nowhere near a therapeutic level. The mood stabilizer, Tril*ptal she takes is actually a fairly low dose and is not considered a strong mood stabilizer to begin with.

We still haven't had a conversation with the psychiatrist at the hospital, but received a call from the hospital social worker that we need to pick her up today after meeting with him. Obviously he won't be making any med changes. I'm ticked. *major understatement!*

There's a possibility that Kitty will be going to residential treatment on Wednesday. If she's as angry with us as she appeared to be on Sunday, then I'm not sure we're going to make it.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Yep, you shouldn't have anything to do with her therapy - that way she can go in, say she's fine and that everything is just wonderful. The therapist will see how wonderful she's doing without your input and either discharge her from therapy (that she miraculously no longer needs) or recommend that her meds be reduced or discontinued. My dd18 did this as soon as she turned 18 (and ran away and went to her dr. appt on her own). I guess the problem was all me, all the time and then as soon as she was off the meds, BAM! suicide attempt. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

My ds17 has always been held up as the "Oh, he's not nearly as bad as that kid over there" example. I will be despairing over him stealing everyone blind and I'll either hear how all kids do that or he's just testing us, or he just doesn't know better or the person talking knows someone else who boosted a car at 11 so what the heck am I complaining about? When I beg for educational services I hear how incredibly smart he is IF ONLY he'd turn all his homework in. Translation - the hours you are listening to him scream he can't do the work every.single.evening is all made up. He's a delight in class and knows it all. You're just being lazy and not making him do his homework - or better yet - not LETTING him do his work - cuz you just want him to watch tv. What a waste of time. We are looking at very specific issues and they're all generalizing. I don't care what some other kid is doing - I care what MY child is doing and how they are being helped (or not).

It figures that she'd be mad at you when you are the only person who has any interest in her future whatsoever. Workers and therapists and doctors come and go - family is supposed to be forever.