This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Visiting Kitty

At our last family therapy session we talked mostly about some drama that Kitty had started. Apparently her roommate had been talking about another girl behind her back. Kitty felt the other girl deserved to know what was going on. The roommate felt betrayed of course. Kitty seemed fairly clueless as to why this hadn’t been the best choice, but was trying to follow the Center's rules about accepting blame. Friday was the roommate’s last day so hopefully the Wiccan stuff will go with her.

The hair flipping/twisty thing was gone (She’d started a weird hair tugging/twirling/flip thing with the bangs right in front of her face – it was VERY distracting and annoying, but we'd made big efforts to ignore it.), and she seemed a lot calmer (and a little more distant).

When I went back to visit her this last weekend, it was as though I were a distant relative. She was nice and polite. Gave me a hug, but spent most of our visiting time talking about TV shows and movies (most of which are ones she’s not allowed to watch at home), when I tried to redirect her, she would comply and then the next thing I knew she’d be back to talking about TV.

In a couple of weeks we’ve talked about having Bear be part of the session. I don’t think Kitty is anywhere ready for it, and although we’ve been working with Bear about being kinder, gentler and less intimidating/threatening around Kitty he’s definitely not on board with it.

He’d asked to go last week and I told him Kitty doesn’t want to be around him (since she feels he threatened her life twice). So now he’s rejecting her since she rejected him. *sigh* I think we shouldn’t do it, but I’m worried that she’ll be coming home soon, and have to deal with him (his theory is he’ll just avoid her completely until he graduates and leaves, but I’m not so sure he’s going to have anywhere to go so will be around a lot longer).

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