This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Bearly making it.

Wow!  So much has happened since I last posted here.  Including a big change in Blogger so this may not work.  I can't see half the screen and it won't let me insert pictures anymore.

Bear:  I saw Bear yesterday.  He had a doc appointment for a follow up on his broken pinky.  He wasn't wearing the splint so the finger tip fused to the wrong part of the bone, but it's not obvious and he still has use of the joint so except for possible arthritis as he ages, it's no big deal. 

He looks like he's gained back a little of the 20lbs he lost the first month he was gone, but all in the "love handle" area.  I'm guessing he's living on fast food.  He's still off all his meds, and says he's noticed he's "jittery" but hasn't seen any other effects.  He also spoke of staying up all night often, which I'm sure is also a negative effect.  He was covered in cuts and bug bites, and said he's been camping a lot. I'd given him some Ben*dryl last week because he was miserable from the bites which covered his whole body and were bleeding.

He asked me to cut his hair, but as he obviously hadn't showered in awhile I declined and offered him coupons at a nearby discount salon (only $7).  He texted me near bedtime last night asking if he could come over and use our shower, but the only working bathroom we have is the Master Bath (I'm still in the process of remodeling the kid bath he used to use) and he's not allowed in our bedroom or bath (stole from us too many times), plus the younger kids were using it.

Currently we have no way to contact Bear.  He got his phone and iPod wet and/or fried them.  He was going to get them fixed (the phone was brand new), but apparently he doesn't qualify.  I asked him why he didn't just buy a new one with the $10K he claims to have in the bank, but he's "saving that to buy his truck."  (He told a family friend that his girlfriend's cousin who he frequently lives with, but currently is staying nearer to home, gave him thier old truck when they got a new one... but I'm assuming that's BS).  Of course he still doesn't have a driver's permit or license.


Miz Kizzle said...

I'm so sorry. You must be going out of your mind worrying about him. Not knowing where your 18-year-old is staying or whether he has a place to bathe must be very stressful for you.
Does he have the option of returning home if he obeys certain conditions?

marythemom said...

He knows can return home anytime, but he has to agree to do his chores, and he would have to go back on his meds. He cannot live here if off his meds. It's not safe for us.

Of course there is no shower/bath for him to use, and his room is a total mess right now (carpet is ripped up, but not actually removed yet. Most of the furniture is in the closet (so I could paint and remove the carpet), no bedding or curtains. Honestly I stopped all work on his room to finish the bathroom. Which I need to do today!