This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Not Home Yet and the Hunger Games review

It's about a 3 hour drive to Metro City which contains the Center where Kitty currently lives.  When we were only one hour away from the Center on our way to pick up Kitty and bring her home, we fially got the call from our funding source.  They had decided to approve her 3 week extension for "transition." 

We hadn't told Kitty it was an option she might be going home that weekend in case it didn't work out (or did work out, depending on how you look at it).  So she had no idea how closely we were scrutinizing her for whether or not she's ready to return home.  She's not.  She got pretty nasty with us.

I do agree with the Center therapists though who are saying that her attachment to the family, one of the major things she has going for her, is really starting to degenerate.  Apparently she has no problem with holding opposing beliefs at the same time either.  In group therapy it just depends on how she's feeling or the vibe of the group or something.  When new kids come in stating things like their family hates them for sending them to the Center, Kitty will say no, their family loves them and wants them at the Center to work on their issues.  Other days, Kitty will talk about us as though we're evil tyrants who revel in her misery, and are constantly looking for ways to put her down and reject her.

Last visit, before therapy the Center had talked to me about the classes the Center's school was proposing for Kitty since she'd finally finished her Credit Recovery.  Kitty had requested French, and they had a computer class she could take.  We'd discussed foreign language with Kitty's IEP team when she first started high school and it was decided with her memory, spelling, writing and learning disabilities that it would be best not to have her do a foreign language. 

Kitty wanted to know why I nixed French and rather than going into all the details, I just told her her original IEP team had decided she needed to focus on improving her language arts skills, rather than adding another language.  She seemed OK with it and we moved on to other topics.

This week, the therapist mentioned that in group therapy, Kitty had brought the language thing up, and all her peers thought we were overbearing, tyrants for not letting her try it.  She pointed out that she was making As and Bs in a "regular ed" setting at the Center (I doubt that this is really a typical regular ed setting) and went on a tirade about how we were judging her based on how she was when she first got here (over 5 years ago). 

Nothing we or the therapist said, could convince her that we weren't holding her back and judging her unfairly.  She kept bringing up how great her 8th grade year was and yet we, her evil parents, didn't give her full privileges and responsibilities of a typical 8th grader so she'd "given up" trying.  I need to go back and really look at what happened in 8th grade.  I know it was her "best" year with us, but I doubt it was so great we were able to treat her like a "normal kid."

Was so glad that the therapist decided not to allow a visit or pass after the session, because I was pretty shaken up.  Hubby and I had decided to celebrate our birthdays a little early by staying in a hotel in Metro City overnight with NO KIDS!  It was lovely and relaxing.

The next afternoon we picked up Kitty for a 3 hour pass.  We'd decided to take her to a movie, because we couldn't really think of anything better to do.  Unfortunately the movie she wanted to see (Mirror, Mirror) didn't start at a good time.  After much debate and trying to find other alternatives, I was overruled and we saw the Hunger Games. 

I HATE this movie!  I don't recommend it for kids of trauma or neurotypical kids either and I hate that I let Ponito see it.  I should have known better.  I'm still having issues with it.  If you like Lord of the Flies and movies where the survivors eat each other to survive, this is your kind of movie.  Kids killing kids on reality TV for the whole country to watch?  Watching 12 year olds die by having their throats slit or being stabbed with spears?  I don't get the appeal.  Kitty of course was "fine with it."  She already knew that adults were just out to manipulate kids and let them die.  Her world is already a war zone.

1 comment:

Miz Kizzle said...

I read somewhere that the majority of films are made to appeal to 14-year-old boys. That being the case, the biggest box office draw would feature a team of hot girls with commando training who foil a plot to blow up New York City while driving jet skis in their underwear through a lake of fire.