This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Positive Attitude - Choosing Joy

I got this in an e-mail right after hearing Sunday's lesson. God is really making sure that I "get" this!

We call it choosing joy. Every day I try to focus on the positives. It's hard as heck, but it is important. I vent, but limit it to a maximum of 3 vents, even less if I can. I needed lots of validation that what I was doing was the right thing. Over time I eventually began to believe it, and that makes me feel better about myself. I look back at the Godincidences (like reviewing my blessings) that came out of what frequently seemed like tragedies at the time. I try to focus on how many of these “tragedies” have made me a stronger, better person. Most importantly I focus on the positives and Choose Joy, like the little old lady in the nursing home.

If we could all live life with this attitude, the world (and we) would be so very different!

A 92-year-old, petite, poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.
After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready.

As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. "I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. "Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room ... just wait." "That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied.

"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged... it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do."

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away ... just for this time in my life. Old age is like a bank account ... you withdraw from what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
Wonderful Advice....for all of us.

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