This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Monday, December 7, 2009


Mahwaige is what brings us together today.

Things aren't going so great around here. I'm overwhelmed with life and the kids. Hubby is overwhelmed with life and work. Both of us are sacrificing our relationship with each other to try to find enough energy to keep going. Both of us need the support of the other to try to do everything we feel we should. Neither of us has the extra energy to help the other.

My insomnia is getting worse (went to bed at 4am last night) and Hubby feels rejected when I don't come to bed by 10. Not sure where to go from here.


Kristina P. said...

Mary, hang in there. I hope you guys can make it work.

Sheri said...

Oh my goodness Mary! I do believe we are living in a parallel universe as you said one time. In fact, I believe I have a recent post entitled the same thing.


Parenting hard kids is hard on a marriage. I am sorry. I have no answers. I have had to chuck away all my pre-conceived notions of what my marriage should be like in order to function with what I have.

I get it.

So sorry.

Anonymous said...

I had to read the post title out loud in order to get it. LOL... very funny.

Your life... not so funny. So sorry things are wildly stressful right now. I will keep you all in my prayers, as always.

marythemom said...

I hope you recognized the quote!


Becky said...

I'm sorry this is happening! I don't know what I can do but if you think of something let me know. In the meantime know that you have my thoughts, prayers, and support!

Anonymous said...

Might it help him feel a little better if you got in bed with one of your many books-being-read at 10 and then got back out when he fell asleep?

I know it is hard, and it is hard to hear what I'm about to say: without your marriage, the kids lose even worse. A bit like if you lose your sanity or health from working/trying so hard, they lose too.

My husband and I speak such different love languages we've had to have quite a few marriage therapy sessions to figure out why we both try so hard and never get anywhere.

Insomnia: because of stress or because you don't need to sleep? Don't let this turn into full-blown mania. Use only yellow lights -- no TV, and at least change your computer to have no blues or greens in the color scheme. Help your inner clock do its job, ok? I take a sleeping pill if my body doesn't want to go to sleep and it is 2 am.

Mary, you know the signs. If you won't up your meds, at least go to for more non-drug strategies to get into control. I'm going to slap you: You MUST take care of yourself (get yourself under control) or NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.

Now accept my virtual hug, tell me to heed my own advice, and go do something so boring your eyes go blurry.