This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Back to the Future

Recently we met with Bear's casemanager regarding his "Transition Plan." I was expecting to be "encouraged" yet again to move him completely out of the special program for emotionally disturbed youth, but that day's focus was different (although it did come up several times). They wanted to talk about Bear's plans after graduation and how to make sure that he's taking the classes he'll need to be ready for those plans.

I had spoken to the caseworker earlier in the week and told her that Bear doesn't qualify for the military which is his primary goal (because of the psychotropic medications he has to take). He'd also selected police officer (which at this meeting he decided to dump because it was too boring!), SWAT team, and lawyer. I told the casemanager that we she needed to encourage him to work on a "backup goal, " rather than tell him he can't go into the military. It had to be her doing it because he doesn't hear a word I say.

My nephew in Nebraska is Bear's idol and my nephew didn't qualify for the Marines (some health problem discovered after he was packed and ready to go), so now my nephew is going to college to become a lawyer.

So the casemanager casually mentioned that Bear would probably want to go to junior college before going to college. He stated that he didn't see any need for that. She hinted, implied, and suggested that it might be a good idea. He dismissed the idea. Since she wouldn't state it plainly so that he could understand her (think 2 by 4s!), I spoke up and stated firmly that the applied classes he is taking will not qualify him to go straight to college or the naval academy. If he wants to go to college he will have to take catch up classes (have I mentioned how much this irritates me?!).

Because I'm the mom, he ignored me.

Over and over I had told the case manager it needed to come from her. She dropped the subject because it had been covered. So Bear still doesn't know that he will need to go to junior college if he wants to go to college.

So I'm still the mean mom who is nagging him to go to Summer school to get caught up even though he's making As and Bs.



Anonymous said...

Oh I understand your pain / frustration! I have point-blank asked, in front of A, for a professional to tell her something because she doesn't believe me when I say it and hopefully if the doctor tells her to do it, she will. And the professional will skirt around, tell stories about other people, and never tell A what she needs to hear! HELLO?!

Miz Kizzle said...

Oh boy! I graduated from law school AFTER I had graduated from a four-year college and worked for two years as a teacher. Let me tell you, law school is HARD! Not only do you have to study every single waking moment but you're up against some of the smartest people from excellent four-year college.
I don't think Bear's plan to go to law school is realistic. However, he could become a paralegal or possibly an investigator for a law firm or for a prosecutor. My guess is that would be more to his liking anyway.