This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

The Flu and filling my love tank


Last Sunday, Bob came down with a virus. Although she had no other symptoms, when her fever hit 105 Monday morning we made an appointment with the doctor. Not H1N1, not the flu, just a virus. Take her home, bedrest and lots of fluids. *sigh* $65 to find out we should keep doing what we're doing. Oh well, better safe than sorry. Wednesday she was fever free so back to school on Thursday.
Last Monday night Kitty came down with a fever, and threw up a few times. Having just heard from the doctor it was just a virus, we kept an eye on Kitty, but assumed it was the same virus. Yes, her fever got up to 105 too.
One of my online friends (Jeri from With Love from Sumy) read my empty love tank post and convinced me I needed to recharge at an upcoming seminar by Advocates for Children of Trauma with Katharine Leslie being the main presenter. I'd been really wanting to go even though it was a several hour drive, but when I realized Grandma would be visiting her sister in New Jersey I had reluctantly declined. My friend convinced me that I didn't have much choice and she was right. I was a burned out mess. She offered to drive, and even arranged for free accomodations.
So I had to make it work. Then the girls got sick. More guilt. But I wasn't doing them much good so I decided to go anyway.
I finally got to meet Mike IRL (in real life) who is one of the main forces behind Advocates for Children of Trauma. He's been a source of support for me for many years. He opened his home to Jeri and I and we even got to meet his sweet dogs!
4 hours there and 4 hours back swapping stories and laughs with Jeri who I was meeting for the first time IRL. Several hours talking to Mike (instead of getting the sleep I needed). That was almost all I needed. Then we went to the seminar and I was blown away.
I came home totally recharged, and with a plan of attack.
Of course I came home to all my life as I left it. It's taken me several days to get caught up. I've filled in Hubby a little about what I learned at the seminar. Warned the kids there was gonna be some changes around here at a family meeting. Gotten a little sleep. Spent 2 1/2 hours taking Kitty to the doctor (and gotten fussed at for not taking her in within the first 48 hours, because of course this doctor thinks both girls had H1N1).
Kitty is doing beautifully and is fever free today (although still tired). Bob is back to her teenage girl self (last night she was cuddly and sweet. Today?! Ooh how I love being cussed at and pushed by my supposedly "neurotypical" biokid!). Bear is not thrilled to be told he will be part of our family (no highway option) - plus he got caught yet again not being where he's supposed to be and doing what he's supposed to be doing, so is suffering the consequences. Ponito is reaping the rewards of being a fully attached, non hormonal, sweet kid, and is spending the night at a friend's house.
So next post I'll start blogging about all that I learned from the amazing Katharine Leslie. If you can't stand the suspense, check out Jeri's blog where she's started posting about it already. I find it amazing how two people can attend the same seminar and leave with totally different messages. So don't worry about seeing the same stuff here that she talks about there.
Gotta get some sleep! Hugs and prayers y'all!
Marythemom

2 comments:

Denise396 said...

I was wondering where you've been all week!

So about the swine flu: my daughter had it and I called the doc and they said, "Don't bring her in unless she's had a fever over 100 for 5 days." I never did bring her in and no one is any worse off for it. Don't let your kids bully you into thinking they need to go to the doc's every time they sneeze. What April needed was TLC from me (or her brother when I was at work) and rest. That's all. You did the right thing.

Struggling to Stand said...

Yea, I'm wondering why a doc would scold you for not taking the kids in. Our whole family had H1N1 at different severities and none of us saw a doc -- but I went online to learn the rules of when to worry and I became a bit hypervigilant during their worst hours.
And so glad you got a recharge.