This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Keeping up the pace

I wanted to talk some more about Kitty's backyard pacing.

Extrovert vs Introvert

Normally Kitty is a very outgoing child. Not sure how much is the Charming RAD, and how much is her normal personality. I'm an extrovert with strong introvert tendencies. Meaning I get my energy from being around other people, but need some down time too. In a personality test I scored almost even between the two. Everyone else in the family are pretty strong introverts. I'm guessing Kitty is a lot like me in this respect. It's hard to tell with all the diagnoses interfering.

I do know that the more stress Kitty is under, the more she paces. I think that's why there has been such an increase in it lately. She's repressing more and more stuff and this is her way of venting. If you try to make her do something, especially chores, before she gets a chance to decompress, you will most definitely get to see a meltdown or rage. I try to avoid interrupting or setting time limits on her walking, and sometimes send her back out there.

I do not think Kitty is actually processing anything when she walks. I think she's just trying to regulate her emotions enough to feel safe.


You guys have come up with very valid points. Of course I wouldn't want anyone to listen to my thoughts anymore than I would want them to read my journal. Oh wait, I guess I'm OK with that or I wouldn't be blogging. Still, that's my choice.
I would never read Bob's diary (if she had one). On the other hand, I would and do read what I find in Bear's and Kitty's stuff. For me this is because they are in danger of hurting themselves and others. Plus, I need as much help as I can to reach them. For different reasons, they are both so closed off.
Bob has occasionally been outside when Kitty is pacing and recently said that when Kitty is pacing she is telling stories. I'm curious what kind of stories my non-imaginative child is telling, but I will probably drop this quest to find out for sure until and unless something drops in my lap.

1 comment:

Kelly said...

I can relate to this in a similar way.

I too listen to what my 5 and 6 year old foster children say to each other and in their rooms when they are alone. Do I listen in on my birth children no...for several reasons...but the main thing is that I can trust them. Also, I don't know a lot about their past and this is a window into their past world (occasionally). I will continue to listen (with a baby monitor) until I feel like I can trust them and until I feel like I really know them.