This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Spy Gear


Kitty spends hours in the backyard pacing and talking to herself. The more stressful her day, the more she walks. She’s been doing this for who knows how many years (foster family mentioned it too). I don’t want to stop the behavior because it apparently helps keep from raging, but I worry about what it means. She usually seems pretty upset and gesturing emphatically as she talks and walks.

In addition to the walking, she used to play Barbies/ Bratz with Bob and it apparently was very therapeutic for her. From what I overheard on occasion, the dolls were pretty vicious and full of attitude with each other and sometimes reenacted scenes of domestic violence. We finally had to prohibit the girls from playing dolls together because it was inappropriate for Bob. I tried to get Kitty to play with me, but she won’t.

Kitty is not diagnosed with schizophrenia or dissociative identity disorder (DID), but DID was mentioned by one of our more experienced therapists. The psychiatrist didn’t seem to think that was likely. She’s never mentioned hearing voices or seeing things that aren’t there to me, but she might not.

Lately she’s been spending even more time outside, and I’m worried. I decided I need to know what she’s saying in her backyard walks, but I can’t hear her from in the house and she stops if I go outside. I bought one of those As Seen On TV Silver Sonic XL sound amplifiers that looks like a cell phone earpiece, but it was a piece of junk and didn’t work at all (took it back to the grocery store and got my $15 back). Money is definitely an issue.

Suggestions?

4 comments:

Jeri said...

Aaaccckkkk!!!! Another "D" diagnosis?! DID...who knew. I wish I knew of some way to wire her up without her knowledge,but I don't. It does sound though like she's found a way to work out her frustrations without blowing up about it.

Struggling to Stand said...

She could be outside more because it is nicer outside now : )
Walking and bitching sound like a great way to work off steam. Me, I'd add a punching bag to the mix.

Some psychiatrists still don't believe in DID. I think of most DID conversations as happening "inside", but there can always be exceptions. I think the question would be whether she is clearly arguing with herself as two or more people or just bitching and deriding herself as we all do. And I'm not sure if you overheard an arguement if you could tell how many people were participating!

Well, I guess I recommend being clear on your purpose -- is it to help determine if there are mental health issues that need to be addressed, or to find out what her inner issues are? I know there are times when it is necessary to "invade" privacy, but it would really suck to have her discover the invasion.

The answer might be to rent an device more suited to picking up moving sound. Cheaper than buying such a thing.

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

Hmm, tough one. Too bad that thing didn't work because it did look really promising on TV! You could consider leaving some sort of recorder outside about the time when you know she usually goes out there. But as your other commentor said, it would backfire if she found out!
You must have either a huge yard or a really quiet kid.

Miz Kizzle said...

It's probably better not to try and record her. Talking to herself might be her way of mulling things over and letting off steam. We all deserve our privacy, unless she's given you some indication that she may harm herself or others.
I think she'd be furious if she found any kind of recording device in the yard and rightfully so.
I talk to myself while I'm driving. Sometimes I recite poetry (The Charge of the Light Brigade is a favorite). Sometimes I take on different characters and accents and expound on whatever I think interests or disgusts them. I'm sure if someone overheard me they'd think I was nuts and I'd be VERY embarrassed if one of my family members recorded my discourses.