WAYS TO BRIGHTEN UP A BORING DAY
- Chase a child around the house to give him/her a kiss or a tickle (be sure the child is OK with this!).
- Return the greeting of anyone in the house, but substitute the name of a pet for his or her name. “Hi Scarlet Claus, how was school today?” “I missed you too Lord Fluffy!”
- Phone home from work and say, “Just called to say I can’t talk right now, Bye.”
- To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
- Leave your zipper open for an hour. If anyone points it out, say “Sorry, but I really prefer it this way.”
- In the middle of dinner, suddenly yell out “YABBA DABBA DOOO!”
- Walk sideways to the refrigerator.
- Say to your child, “I like your style”, and shoot him/her with double-barreled fingers.
- In the middle of a “creative discussion,” babble incoherently, then ask “Did you get all that?, I don’t want to have to repeat it.”
- Gasp dramatically every time the refrigerator door opens.
- Yell downstairs repeatedly for yourself (do NOT disguise your voice).
- Set a bowl on the floor and carefully pour your drink in it. Then get down and noisily lap it up like a dog.
- Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
- At the end of dinner, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem. (Extra points if you actually launch into it yourself.)
- Walk into the room in which a child is reading or doing homework, and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch off/on 10 times.
- For an hour, refer to everyone by the names you’ve given them on your blog or from a cartoon. “Spongebob do the dishes!”
- When returning from the restroom sing the, “I went poo poo in the potty” song repeatedly. Don’t forget to dance!
- When a child is not home, carefully put away all their laundry or toys in the correct places (where they’ll never find it).
- When there are extra children in the house, run around counting the children repeatedly, shake your head and mutter over and over, “Too many, there’s just too many!”
- At dinner time, sit down at the table, look at the children expectantly and ask what’s for dinner?
- Put purple food coloring in the milk. (Don't use green or blue unless you want to drink it all yourself! Green milk is NOT appetizing!)
- Before dinner is served, hold up your unused fork and ask the child next to you, “Do you wanna swap?”
- Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:
“Do you hear that?"
“Never mind, it’s gone now.”
- Wear your craziest outfit (mine is a rainbow colored tie dye shirt with matching shorts) when you drop off or pick up your child from school.
- Speak in an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc.) to anyone who comes to the front door.
- Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet paper from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
Whenever a child misbehaves, furtively make checks in a notebook while giggling. Tell any child who asks that you are playing a game, but don’t give them details. Wait until the child has been naughty several times and then dance around shouting, “YES! I WIN!” Thank the child (don’t explain) and walk away pumping your fist in the air. You can actually reward yourself with a treat if you like. I’ve heard it called Behavior Bingo.