This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

My first child / My first baby

This one is different and kind of fun!!! Here you go Moms - a different kind of survey for a change - it's all about you and your first baby.

Oldest Child (adopted at age 14)First Baby (now age 12)

1. Were you married at the time?

No, we got married a little over a year later (for his birth of course. We'd been married 14 years at his adoption)
– yes, we’d been married almost 3 years

2. What was your reaction when you found out you were pregnant?

Frustrated because we couldn’t tell the children for 3 months until it was official
– FINALLY, we’d been trying for 6 months.
3. Were you trying to have a baby?

No, I wanted older children
– yes, we’d been trying for 6 months.

4. How old were you?

- 26

5. How did you find out you were pregnant?

Got an e-mail
– peed on a stick
6. Who did you tell first?


7. Who did you tell next?

My mom

8. Did you want to find out the sex?

Already knew he was a fully mature male *eek!*
– yes, but baby was upside down sitting on one foot, and wouldn’t cooperate!

9. If so, what was the first thing you did when you found out the sex?
Freaked out about adopting a 12 year old who looked 17 and shaved
– cried because I was so happy, I’d wanted a girl so badly!
10. Did you deliver early or late?

Late, we had to wait months for the states to agree (ICPC)
- late by 2 weeks, in the middle of the summer, swollen like a sausage from water retention.

11. Did you have morning sickness?

– Definitely!

12. What did you crave?

A sanity check. Oh wait, that's just what I needed not craved.
– tatertots with cheese and anything fried and greasy
13. What irritated you the most?

Having to keep it a secret from the kids until it was official
– having to wear stockings to work in a Texas Summer which gave me heat rashes
14. What was your first child's sex?

- girl

15. How many pounds did you gain throughout the pregnancy?

Probably 10 from the stress
– 70+lbs!

16. Did you have any complications during your pregnancy?

Tons, but didn’t expect any less from bureaucracy
– little bit of anemia

17. How many hours were you in labor?

So depends on how you count it. Once we got ICPC, it took less than a week to arrange to go pick them up and bring them home His adoption wasn't final until almost 2 years later.
– about 13 to 14 hours

18. Who drove you to the hospital?

After the plane landed, Hubby drove the rental car to the small town where our son lived (Kitty met us there)
- Hubby

19. Did you take medicine to ease the pain?

Nope, all that came later
– Oh yeah! Had an epidural (insertion almost hurt worse than contractions)
20. How much did your child weigh?

– 6lbs 15 oz

21. What was your first reaction after your baby was finally here?

Wanted to hug them and squeeze them, but didn’t want to scare them so just bounced like Tigger on the inside
– I cried and felt a huge wave of love for her

22. What did you name him/her?

Unlike his sister, he kept the first name he came with. We changed his birth last name to his middle name and gave him our last name
– Definitely not BOB!! A variation on my mom’s name.
23. How old is your first born today?

15, in the 9th grade
– 12 in the 7th grade.

24. Who does your child look like?

Oddly enough, Hubby, even has the same blue/green eyes and biomom, has her broad cheekbones

– Both of us because we look a lot alike, has Daddy’s blue/green eyes.

Okay Moms, post this as 'My first baby or child' and tag anyone you want to. Let me know if you do it, I'd love to read yours!


Kristina P. said...

You adopted a 14 year-old at 23? YOu are one brave woman!!!

marythemom said...

Yikes, NO! I was 23 when my son was born to his birthmom. I was 38 when I adopted him!

I may be crazy, but I'm not that crazy!