This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Where o where has my little lamb gone?

Came home from work yesterday to find that Bob had refused to do chores and that Kitty was AWOL! Grandma said she was at Shaundra's house. I didn't know who Shaundra was, but guessed that Kitty was really at Chantall's house (the 8 year old who lives across the street). Ponito was at my sister's playing with my nephew (did I mention my neice has that week long fever that Ponito had a couple of weeks ago? *sigh* Hope he can't get it again.

After hiding in the bathroom for a few minutes, I finally came out and fussed at Bob, started dinner, and called Chantall's mom. Kitty wasn't there. Chantall is at soccer practice and Chantall's mom is sure her husband wouldn't take Kitty with them. While I was still on the phone with her, Ponito showed up on her doorstep looking for Kitty. I told her to send him home and tried to call Grandma - hadn't made it home yet. Keep cooking dinner and get a little more worried.

Fuss at Bob for still being in her room and ask her who Shaundra is. Bob says Kitty is with Chantall at soccer practice. Call back Chantall's mom and ask her to call Chantall's grandma who apparently took Chantall to practice. Try to get Grandma again - still not home (20+ minute drive). Chantall's mom calls back. Yes, Kitty is at soccer practice. Chantall's grandmother had asked her 40 times if it was OK, and Kitty said yes. Chantall's grandma now knows better then to trust my kids.

Finally get hold of Grandma. Chantall asked Grandma if Kitty could come over while Chantall waited for Grandma to take her to soccer practice. Kitty allegedly assumed that Chantall had asked if Kitty could go to soccer practice.

OK, now I know where my little lamb is, and just have to tell her that she is in the FAIR Club for putting the responsibility of telling where she would be on an 8 year old. Meltdown of course!

I was excited about the opportunity to use a new technique I learned on Christine's blog Blatantly giving the other children a candy treat for having to suffer through a meltdown. It's supposed to stop the child from having a meltdown so the other children don't get rewards. I'm not sure she noticed though. Next time it will be candy with wrappers - something a little more noticeable.


Miz Kizzle said...

I feel for you. I hate not knowing where my kids are. It seems strange that she's friends with an eight-year-old and the grandmother should have known better than to ask a kid if she had permission to do something. I learned that when my youngest was seven and one of his friends assured us it was fine with his mom if he went roller-skating with us (it wasn't. He was being grounded for teasing his brother.) It seems like a grandma would be more hip to the tricks that kids try and pull.

marythemom said...

Emotionally my 13 year old Kitty is really only about 6. She often does better playing with younger children. Kids her own age have higher expectations (and most middle school age girls are NOT NICE - think witchy and cliquey).

The 8 year old grandma didn't know anything about Kitty's issues, and Kitty truly believed she had permission to go (she thought the 8 year old had asked permission for her, but the 8 year old had only asked for permission for Kitty to hang out in her front yard until the Grandma came).