This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

PTSD update - Single Parent Saturday

Single parenting and having to shop with 4 kids! HATE it! Hubby is teaching scuba this weekend so doesn't get home until evening.

Our Saturday
by a harried Marythemom

Both Ponito and Kitty woke up at the crack of dawn as usual. Ponito usually watches TV quietly downstairs, but Kitty can't be quiet to save her life! I came downstairs to discover them arguing about whether or not to watch a cartoon (Kid vs Kat). I told them the cartoon was inappropriate and then had to deal with Kitty's first meltdown of the morning. Poor Bob (the only child who sleeps in a downstairs bedroom). I tried to keep Kitty's voice down so Bob could sleep, but as usual, was not very effective.

Kitty tried to storm outside, but since she was dressed in her princess clothes (full-length light colored evening gown with heels) I informed her she couldn't go outside or the dogs would tear up the dress and heels are a no no in the backyard. More pouting and fussing and refusal to change, but she stayed inside.

Ponito decided to eat his leftover cake from dinner the night before. Kitty immediately threw a jealous hissy. I reminded her that there was some chocolate cherry banana bread left, and she eventually decided that it was better than nothing. She threw the whole bag in the microwave to heat it up. *sigh* Then I told her she couldn't eat in her Princess dress. More fussing. Finally she put on a hoodie, zipped it up, and covered her lap with a throw. I was done arguing so said fine, but then discovered that, unlike Ponito, she hadn't had breakfast. More arguing. No snack food until after a good meal! Kitty ate a banana - I didn't realize until later that that was ALL she ate.

At this point, Bob got up (who can sleep with someone screaming and stomping around in heels outside your door?). Bear came downstairs dressed and ready to go after his 1 1/2 hour nap in the bathtub. We all vegged for a short time, doing puzzles and watching cartoons and then got ready to shop.

I informed Kitty she would have to sit in the back seat of the van by herself (thanks Grandma for loaning us the van on weekends when Hubby teaches!). Meltdown #3 or 4?! I've kind of lost track.

Shoe shopping first. Bob and Bear have big holes in their shoes. Ponito got a "new" pair at the thrift store last weekend. I need some black heels for work (I finally got rid of my 10 year old shoes). Kitty claims her shoes are "ruined" too and she needs new ones. I say, "No," because I didn't notice any holes and our budget it tight. Meltdown #4(?).

Shoe store isn't having a sale and doesn't open till 10 anyway so we decide to move on. I decide on a big discount store that has decent prices on shoes (and I need some new bras and they're cheap there). Kitty is still furious and storms off. Meltdown #5(?). She stays several aisles away from me, out of my sight, and this is only our first store! *sigh* Everytime I call her back she steps back into my sight and verbally abuses me, but refuses to return to my side. She's already in the FAIR Club, and I can't stop shopping... so I ignore it as much as possible.

We find shoes for Bob and Bear (Bear ends up buying a size 12 shoe too because he can't stand the thought that his "little" sister has bigger feet than he does - which I don't find out till later). They get matching (ugly) shoes. Goofballs. At least the shoes were only $15 each. I forgot about the bras, must have been a little distracted. *heavy sigh*

Kitty is now bawling, but eventually gets in the car. We move on to Wal-Mart (to get a mop and shoes for me). Bob and Bear lace their shoes, and while we wait for them I go sit near Kitty and try to calm her down. I realize all she's eaten is a banana and decide to get them a snack.

Kitty and Ponito ride in shopping cart (yea, don't have to chase her down!). I buy new shoe laces for Ponito and look for shoes for me, but don't find any. She accuses me of torturing her on purpose. We finally check out and go to the in-store optometrist (Bear desperately needs new glasses, but our insurance won't cover new frames so I'm bargain shopping). Bored kids! A family friend and her 15 year old daughter see us and the kids get to visit briefly.

We sit in the van and have our snack lunch and feed the Grackles (black birds) in the parking lot. Kitty is in a slightly better mood. I realize I should have brought the candy bag for the other kids (we've recently begun "rewarding" the other children when they have to endure a Kitty meltdown).

We go to the local thrift store because they are having a sidewalk sale (everything $.50!). The kids get bored looking through bin after bin and ask to go inside. Kitty is informed that she has to stay with me. Yelling and pouting, but no meltdown. Bear is getting antsy because he is supposed to get to go to his girlfriend's house for a barbecue (yes, I've had LONG conversations about supervision and the mom and I appear to be on the same page).

We start toward home so Bear's girlfriend's mom can pick him up. I'm dreading this because I know we have a little more shopping to do and I'll never get the kids back in the car if we go home. Luckily I got a call from the mom and I offer to drop Bear off. Problem solved. Kitty and the kids get a chance to visit with Bear's girlfriend (whom they all like - surprisingly!), and Ponito runs off some energy in the yard. I have a conversation with the mom about Bear. This girl briefly dated Bear before he went to residential treatment and I wanted the mom to know that yes, he is much better, but of course still needs to be supervised. Bear seems to have made a good choice here.

The kids are all whining about being thirsty and wanting to go home. Someone mentions it Happy Hour at Sonic. $5 is worth it for some peace!

We head for Salvation Army - I'm still desperately looking for a leather sectional (in our price range of less than $75) so our furniture fits in our living room. I do actually find a bra that fits too! 34DDDD *sigh* The whole trip takes less than 10 minutes and the kids are happy. We quickly run through the Goodwill next door too and I finally find shoes! Brand new Isaac Mizrahi and Ann Taylor. Yea me! Bob and Ponito suddenly can't keep from messing with each other and I fuss at them repeatedly.

When we get back to the van I tell Bob she can't sit in the front seat because of her behavior in the store. Instant pout! She refuses to get in the van and storms off. *sigh* Luckily this is my child I trust (even when she's pitching a fit), so I let her calm down while I drive around to the back of the store to pick up the leather ottoman I got for a steal. Then drove back to the front. She's no longer hiding behind a pillar, but is pouting on a couch in front of the store. I open the window and tell her if she wants to spend the night at Grandma's she'll get in the car. That works.

Of course now it occurs to Kitty to ask if she's going to Grandma's. Nope. Luckily, only got arguing, but when she realized that I was car-free (have to give back Grandma's van so she can get the kids to church in the morning), she knew we would be going to my sister's church with her. She likes my sister's church so she calmed down and started bragging to the other kids. *sigh*

Last stop. I had done the Sam's Club shopping Friday morning because we were out of dog food, so I didn't need to make a major trip. I just needed to pick up coffee beans and water for work (we're completely out and no one told me until after I made the shopping trip), DiGiorno pizzas as a treat and Gummy Omega 3 for Ponito which they hadn't had at the other store. The kids like the free samples and free cookie we always get.

Then finally home. Hubby had gotten home about 20 minutes before (his day was almost as rough as mine poor thing!). We vented about our days, and then I went downstairs to make pizzas. Then the real fun began!

1 comment:

Tracey said...

Every time I read about Kitty I realize that I have her twin living with me!