Kitty is having meltdowns again. So far nothing major, but I foolishly hoped they were mostly gone. Silly me.
Being pushed on chores always sets her off. She wants to ignore them or do them so poorly that I can't even tell they've been done. Sending her back again and again until they are actually done correctly... guaranteed meltdown. The good news is that sending her back the first time is no longer an instant meltdown guarantee. She can now handle being corrected - she just can't handle even semi-realistic expectations like sweeping all the way to the edges, picking up everything off the floor in her bedroom, putting more than 5 dishes in the dishwasher before calling it full, putting her own laundry in the machine after removing things like belts and used pads....
Kitty was slightly sick on Tuesday so missed a transition meeting at school (to decide what her goals are and what track she should be on in high school). Since I went alone the teachers decided to talk to me about Kitty's major hygiene issues. In short, she is just as conscientious about hygiene as she is about chores. So I said I'd bring clean undies, extra pads, and some of that alcohol based waterless hand soap which is great at killing underarm odor.
Kitty had no clean laundry on Wednesday so I made her do 3-4 loads (yes, she has too many clothes) and figured she could take it Friday.
Thursday morning Kitty asked to have her hair straightened with the Instyler. Bob pouted because that was "her thing" and Kitty didn't earn it. Bob has to behave well and do her chores. Kitty hadn't done that. I comforted Bob with the fact that Kitty would most likely never earn it again!
After school, I took Kitty for a haircut. She asked for a haircut exactly like Bob's. I let her because the girl's hair is so different that even with identical cuts they wouldn't look the same. (Bob's is long, fine and light brown. Kitty's is thick, curly, very dark and shorter).
Bob pouted the whole way home. I went to Bob and we talked about how much it bothers her that Kitty tries to copy her. I told Bob it means that Kitty thinks of Bob as what Kitty wants to be - popular, pretty and cool. Bob's friends had come with Bob and helped her pick out the perfect hair cut. Kitty doesn't have friends like that.
We talked about how this was like my childhood. I had a younger, pretty sister who was popular, a cheerleader and smart. My mom didn't let my sister do things in "my areas" so she wouldn't beat me (like horseback riding was my thing). I told Bob I could do what my mom did, but I didn't think it was the right thing to do. I pointed out that no matter what Kitty did, she wasn't going to be like Bob. They're too different. Bob was mollified.
The next morning Kitty brought me the hygiene stuff without an issue. *sigh*