This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Love Letters

Part of the confirmation is that the children receive "love letters" from family and friends. So I've been bugging everyone to get theirs written. Thought I'd share mine with you.

Dear Bear,

We have been through a lot together in the last 4 years. I’ve watched you grow from an angry, lost boy to a kid who is working hard to make good decisions and trying to figure out who you want to be when you “grow up.” I’m not talking about what job you’re going to have, but what kind of person you want to be.

When you were baptized through Team Impact I was SO PROUD of you! I knew you were on the right path and really wanted to stay there. It’s not an easy path to be on, and you’ll fall off many times, but I KNOW you are going to keep getting back up, and you are going to MAKE IT.

I think being a part of a family is going to be the hardest thing you ever do. Being part of this church family is a step in that direction. You now have a lot of families who love and care about you, and you do not have to choose between us. It’s OK to have many families – it makes you very lucky.

In addition to getting to know you, a privilege of being your mom is that I get to help you become the best you that you can be (Kinda like the Marines!). Jesus often gave the people what was best for them, even when it was not what they wanted. I’m doing my best to be like Jesus and give you what you need. I hope that someday you’ll learn to trust that I have your best interests at heart.

I really do love you, and I’ll still be here when you’re ready (whether you’re 16 or 60!).

P.S. Congratulations on your confirmation!! Good work!

Kitty's was a pretty easy one to write.

Dear Kitty,

I hope I tell you often enough how proud I am of you! You have worked so hard to open your heart and trust again. You have so many people who love you (especially ME!!!) and you deserve every bit of it. You are an amazing kid!

I remember one time talking to you about God watching out for you (I think you’d had a bad dream). I made you listen to me sing, “GOD is bigger than the Boogeyman.” GOD really is watching out for you. Just like I always am.

I love you so much sweetheart! Just like I had enough room in my heart for a scared little girl, I think now you see that you too have enough room in your heart for an entire church family!


P.S. Happy 15th birthday! What a great birthday present to give to yourself!

Surprisingly, Bob's was the hardest.

Dear Bob,

My sweet girl! You have grown so much in the last few years (and I don’t mean in height!). I am so proud of the many great choices you are making. I can see your confidence in yourself blooming as you become a truly beautiful young woman, inside and out.

Your integrity, creativity, and concern for others makes you a joy to be around. You are sooo RRHAFTBA!

God has led me to a lot of choices and I sometimes worry about whether or not they were the right thing to do for you. I can see that God knows what he’s doing and I think it’s helped you become a stronger person - just like it did/does me. I look forward to seeing what God plans to entrust to you for which he thinks you need all of this strength!

I thank God for entrusting you to me. I love you soooo much!



GB's Mom said...

What a Celebration! To have all three confirmed at once! God's peace to you. said...

those are beautiful letters.

Tara - SanitySrchr said...

These are awesome! I'm interested in the song you mentioned in Kitty's letter.

Marty Walden said...

I kept a journal of encouragement notes for my 3 older kids for about 8 years. They would receive them at Christmas time. They are really just short love notes but now they also help remind me of some things that were going on and make marvelous additions to scrapbook pages. I am now doing this for my younger 2, though they don't know it yet! Sometimes it can be challenging to find positive things to say so I just direct them to God.

Radical Melody said...

Just lovely. They are so beautifully written and so full of love, there is no sign of struggle to write them. Beautiful.

marythemom said...

Tara - This is a Veggie Tales song - YouTube has the whole movie (there are 4 parts) starting here
The song starts about 6:48 if you want to skip ahead or here's the refrain

Waldenbunch - I LOVE that idea.