This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

God provided the tools

Last night I went to a faith based women support group that I've been trying to attend weekly.

As the meeting started, I had been writing out my God Story (testimonial about the effect God has had on your life) about the God-incidences (like coincidences, but too many for them to really be coincidences) that had led to us adopting special-needs teens - see the story of our adoption to know these.

By the end of the meeting, I knew that my God story wasn’t about God leading us to the kids or the kids to us, but about God helping me develop the tools I needed to be the best Mom for my kids AND a closer relationship with Him.

Because of my childhood I had NO trust for men. I've often heard that your relationship with your father often predicts your relationship with God, and also that you marry a guy like your dad.

God has helped me avoid marrying a guy just like my father, instead leading me to a husband who was willing to fight for my trust and love (took many years). God led me to choosing to get a Social work degree, helping me to better understand special needs and advocacy. God gave me a family that have mental illness and my own experiences with depression and bipolar disorder to give me empathy. God gave me a daughter (Bob) who stretched my abilities to parent and discipline a "spirited" child, and encouraged me to search for and accept advice and help.

Then He brought my children to me. Children whose sense of trust is just as damaged as mine was, if not more. Not only did God provide the tools I need to help my kids, but he gave me children who continue to bring up my issues which challenges me to be a better person with a stronger faith too. He didn't just hand me tools (which wouldn't have worked), but but actually helped me to grow and understand by putting me in situations where I couldn’t ignore my issues anymore.

People say my children are so blessed because they were adopted, but I know that I am the one who has been blessed.


Lisa said...


Rachie317 said...

Beautifully said - I couldn't agree more!

RyanDallasmom said...

"People say my children are so blessed because they were adopted, but I know that I am the one who has been blessed."

I am right there with you, and couldn't agree more!

Rachie317 said...

Hi Mary! I responded to your post on my blog (and edited my post) but wanted to tell you so you could come read it there. I am sorry that happened to your family. It certainly wasn't in the best interests of the children!