This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Residential Treatment - aka drowning in paperwork

We have decided that Kitty will most likely need to go to residential treatment. In particular one that will do neuropsychological assessment. This has been a long time coming. Medication does not seem to be helping, and she seems to be escalating.

I am getting very concerned for Ponito. Kitty has not physically hurt him, but she calls him "that evil little boy." She is beligerant, oppositional and threatening to him. Calls him names and screams that if he hurts her she will hit/kill him. She feels totally justified in this response.

The other day they were arguing over the TV remote and he tried to snatch it from her, accidentally scratching her cheek. She slammed the remote in his chest so hard I heard it thunk. Luckily I was sitting near by trying to stop them so it did not escalate. She could not be convinced he did not hurt her deliberately.

He is understandably responding to her threats and escalating his response to her behavior. It's tough to be a 10 year old boy in a house dominated by teen girls (Bob will be 13 next month). He's reacting like most little brothers, but Kitty doesn't seem to have any understanding of this concept. In her mind younger siblings should be "dancing monkeys."

So Friday, I spent ALL day searching for a copy of the adoption subsidy paperwork so I could figure out who to contact for pre-authorization for residential treatment from the state of Nebraska for when our private insurance runs out.
I was inspired by another blogger who has been decluttering her home. She has even been keeping a Hefty Bag count. I went through every room of the house looking for paperwork.
I discovered that every time we sign up for a new program, start a new school, or whatever, we put everything in a folder, take it to wherever, usually end up with multiple copies as things are faxed or given to us out of order and in duplicate, and then apparently never put the stuff in the folder away. These folders get left in the car, or my study, or he entry hall table, or wherever the files got dumped when someone decided they needed the box they were in - not to mention all the new stuff.
I found at least 6 copies of 20 page documents. 15 page documents every 6 weeks for the two kids getting special services. The 3 inch thick stack of every meeting since the kids entered foster care (with all identifying info blocked out). Most of that again with all the identifying info not whited out. Every time someone goes to a new school, program, new therapist, is hospitalized... Every time the kids have a writing assignment, get an award, write poetry or stories, draw pictures... you get the picture.
8 hours and I still didn't find the document! Most of it was organized though. I threw out 2 Hefty bags of papers, and the 3 stacks I have left to file are only about 3 inches thick, and need more file folders before I can finish organizing. Oh well, I've got all weekend, right?! Maybe the document is in all the files in the garage I didn't go through yet.
I did find some interesting stuff though.

1 comment:

Tudu said...

We have struggled to maintain our dd at home. We are way past the threats, she has to be held every day to protect the other children from her episodes. In our situation, it is harder on her and her siblings to be separated again then to send her to a RTC. Some days I wish I didn't care about that but then life wouldn't be so interesting, would it.