This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Safety and Crisis Plan

Kitty's Safety and Crisis plan form written while in the psychiatric hospital in January.

This was something I found while decluttering paperwork. It was actually kind of interesting. I wonder what it would look like now.

Kitty had to identify her stressors:
-- someone telling me "no"
-- people getting things I don't have or I want - jealousy
-- certain movies
-- people bigger than she is, particularly men (but Bob is included in this) This is one I think would change. Now that her play ("Men are Slime") is over, she doesn't have as many issues with men. Now most of her issues are with younger children. "Seasonal" issues, nice! *sigh*

She had to note how she could prepare for the stressors:
-- take deep breaths.
-- have other people remind me to stay calm and take deep breaths when the answer will probably be "no."

Some things she could do to reduce stress and help her calm down:
-- swing
-- walk around in the back yard
-- use mini tramp (we'll have to get a new one someday, ours broke)
-- listen to music in her room
-- have someone to help her, that is listening, being calm and helping her feel safe

Tried to help Kitty last night over the phone when she had a meltdown at Grandma's over Ponito turning off the TV - she vehemently refused to take any deep breaths. She yelled, cussed, and demanded that I get rid of "that evil little boy" and/or send him to the psychiatric hospital like we did to her. I kept my voice regulated and talked soothingly. I provided some logic (Things like, little brothers sometimes act like that, but it doesn't mean he's evil.), but knew she was too activated to actually hear any of it. Finally gave her an ultimatum (after she'd calmed down a little). Commit to staying calm and not hurting her brother, stop yelling, avoid little brother, and take meds, or she will be coming home. She managed to calm down.

One answer I thought was particularly interesting was who her support people were.
At first she listed biofamily in Nebraska, but I nixed that. I told her it had to be people here. She avoided choosing Hubby or I, even though she was told she could pick us. She tried to pick friends, but I reminded her that she wasn't supposed to talk about her issues with friends because they should not have to handle things like that.

Finally she chose me (but I was obviously her last choice). She also chose Grandma (uh huh.... not!!), and I told her to choose one person from school so she chose one of the behavior specialists.

Support people help her by:
-- talking to her
-- listening
-- pulling her out of the situation (class, the room... away from whatever/ whoever is triggering her)

Safe places she can go:
-- her room
-- the backyard
-- her teacher can call the behavior specialist to pull her out of the classroom.


Tudu said...

Hahahaha My 11 yr old calls me evil all the time. It cracks me up. The other kids don't find it nearly as funny when she refers to them as evil for walking on her freshly swept floor.

marythemom said...

Hi Tudu,

All those years of attachment therapy has worked. Kitty never calls me evil. Just "cruel and unusual." LOL