This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Friday, June 12, 2009

I got to meet Lisa!

Absolutely no offense to Laynie who was wonderful and fun to meet and talk to (both to her and her adorable well-behaved children), but I am so excited that I finally got to meet LISA IRL*!

(*That stands for In Real Life, for those of you who read this who are like my mom and not up on the latest slang! Just teasing Mom! You'll always be my BFF!)

Lisa has been an amazing support to a lot of us "newer" moms to kids with RAD. I've "known" her for a long time and I can honestly say she was a life saver for us when it came to getting services we needed.

Lisa and her daughter J had just flown into Texas on their way to finally meet her new daughter Special K. (J, K and Lisa still cracks me up!) Poor thing had a faulty GPS so she was lost in San Antonio! Luckily Laynie knew her way around and was able to talk her to us.

We met in a yummy Mexican restaurant called Pappasito's. My almost-13 yr old daughter, Bob, and I had a 1 1/2 hour drive in and figured the plane would be late, or something would delay the meal (we were right) so we had lunch before we got in the car. We sat there and ate brownies and ice cream while everyone snarfed down lunch (it was 2pm our time and 3!pm for poor Lisa and J!). As I believe I mentioned Laynie's kids were amazing, even her two-year-old daughter wasn't having the major meltdowns my kiddos would have had if lunch were that late and they were forced to sit around for hours while adults talked about them!

I've always felt guilty because Lisa uses so many RAD techniques with J (strong sitting, tapping, Reiki, structured parenting...), and I don't. I've always said it was because my kids were "too old" for that when I got them, but secretly I've always felt guilty because I felt I was just too lazy. Watching J at lunch I realized that my kids just aren't quite as severe. Not that they wouldn't benefit from the techniques, but they don't need them as much.

Yes, Kitty gets agitated and has meltdowns, but I haven't needed to do more than reprimand her (in public) in a long time. Not that Lisa had to do more than have a quiet discussion with J, but she seemed to always need to be aware of J. To help J regulate. I don't think Kitty needs that. I do try to limit Kitty's world and I'm always aware of where all my kids are, but I'm so glad to not have to be on top of them all the time.

My admiration for Lisa has increased exponentially. My thankfulness to God for not giving me more to handle is great as well.


Kristina P. said...

I love Lisa! That is so exciting you got to me her, and vice versa!

Lisa said...

Thanks Mary! It was fabulous to meet you too!

Yeah...J was having a really hard day. Traveling a couple thousand miles, no sleep, no food, getting lost (she was sooooo scared), meeting strangers in a strange city, starving, meeting a new sister for the first time,....she was stressed out. I was too, as if you didn't notice. ;-) At home it's not necessary but way too many stressors for one day for both of us. I get stressed thinking about it.

I think I need a nap...

Eva Carper said...

So cool that you got to connect outside of the blogging world!

Laynie said...

We had a great time meeting you guys too! We will have to get together again sometime!