This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Legal Guardianship

AARRRGGGHHH!!! I had a great post, but the stupid internet ate it. It's too late to recraft it, so assume that the previous post was absolutely amazing OK?


So I finally really did my research on legal guardianship (Thanks Struggling to Stand!) and met with a lawyer. It all boils down to whether or not Bear can be declared incompetent (needing guardianship to protect his health and welfare), and that can only be determined by a health care provider.

Based on the psychiatrist's comments in his last e-mail there is a possibility that he would write the report (although I wasn't holding my breath). However, at Bear's last therapist appointment he was awake and engaged. I felt like the therapist started to give me a hard time about overreacting to Bear's behaviors. The therapist has seen Bear at his sleepy, belligerant, defiant finest, but when he asked Bear how his week was and Bear said "fine," I probably rolled my eyes, and I jokingly moved away from Bear to "avoid the lightening strike."

The therapist asked me what was going on and I told him how Bear's week had really been (with Bear jumping down my throat many times, particularly over the fact that I was holding him accountable for his failing grades). Then Bear confirmed that it wasn't all in my head or me being a witch. He matter of factly stated that he was treating Grandma and I badly because we were female caregivers. He equally plainly stated that he wasn't interested in developing relationships with anyone and he didn't see a point in doing so. It wasn't belligerant, it wasn't denial, it was just a fact. He is mildly attached to us, but that's as far as he's willing to go. Period.

So at this point I'm not going to pursue the legal guardianship (and I'm glad his pdoc appointment isn't until the end of October) because for some reason Bear is presenting well. I have no idea where this is coming from or if it was just that one day because it was right after diving (which usually stresses him out).

I'm not dropping the idea entirely - most of my concerns are still there. Just not now.

1 comment:

RADMomINohio said...

That has to be frustrating that the therapist acts like you are overreacting. I know that when Penelope is doing well, I'm still hypervigilent and looking for signs for the up period to start coming down. Because it ALWAYS happens. Any therapist that truely understands these children knows that they can be very well behaved and make good strong decisions WHEN they have the strength (or can manipulate the smartest of professionals into thinking they are well behaved) but know that there is a cycle. So maybe there are periods of "competency" but what happens during allll the other times? He won't have the support structure to carry him through that. Any evaluation for competency should be, in my opinion, with a specialist. My experience is unless they are a specialist, it's a waste of precious time, money and agony. I think you are on the right track and should trust your instincts.