This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

RAD Mom Meeting!

Well we had major meltdowns at home, but it was so worth it! I got to spend some time with other RAD moms!! (Christine at Welcome to my Brain, N and C at Rancho Chico, and Jeri at With Love From Sumi).

I got there super early (I was worried about getting stuck in rush hour traffic), but I got some studying done so that worked out. Christine and N and C had met before and had some things in common (younger kids and homeschooling) so I felt the tiniest big left out (but not because they weren't warm and welcoming and totally willing to talk about my stuff too).

I loved getting to meet Christine. She is just as warm and funny in real life as she is on her blog. I got to travel with N to a seminar so it was fun catching up with her. C had stayed home from that seminar so I had just kind of waved at her in the van, but we didn't get to really meet then. She's a pretty interesting person, but very quiet. She was on the other side of N from me so I didn't get to talk to her as much as I would have liked. That was too bad because it sounds like we had a lot in common.

I traveled to a seminar with Jeri too so it was good seeing her again. She ended up the farthest from me so I didn't get to do much talking with her. Another reason to do this again with a little more time to hang out. We greatly mised all of those who weren't able to make it.

We talked about a lot. Two of the ideas we talked about was Bingo and Badges. Behavior Bingo is something I heard about from somewhere on the web. As a way to cope with her children's behaviors, this mom started pretending that whenever her child did something annoying (like pitch a fit, or paint with poo, or call her a $%#*... she would sometimes act really excited like she'd gotten to put a marker on her imaginary bingo board. She didn't tell her kids what she was doing or why. Every now and then she would yell out Bingo! She usually thanked the child for the behavior (again without telling the child why), and rewarded herself in some way (got an ice cream or a margarita or whatever). She said it made her feel better, and confused the heck out of the child(ren).

Badges - we decided we should get to earn badges for the behaviors we survive. There was much giggling about what the m*sturbati*n badge would look like, the painting with poo badge, the black eye badge (poor Jeri gets this), the first time a RAD child showed genuine healing (which for me would be when Kitty asked me how I was feeling and really cared about the answer!)....
So what badges have you earned? How would you want to display them? Would you want them on a sash or vest? Would you put them on your blog?


Mama Drama Times Two said...

What a fun gathering you had! Great Bingo idea. Hmmm. I would keep my badges in a antique brass Bible box I have and (once in a while) take them out and look at them as a reflection of all I've done and a reminder of all that is left to do. This would either recharge my emotional batteries or start a full blown pity party if I was PMSing. Mostly, I'd be too wrapped up in having fun, or dealing with the mayhem or running around parenting to even notice I'd earned any badges.

beemommy said...

Oh, I am so going to have fun with this. Is there a Bud L*ght badge? How about a cramp in my shoulder from carrying all the documentation badge? The drive seven hours for a twenty minute visit with your child and then seven hours back with an ice pack on your face...again? Oooh, oooh, the back window of your SUV taken out with a big rock to see if it would really break it badge...twice. But, I have to remember there's also the "i love you,mama" badge. He does, it's in there...somewhere.

Anonymous said...

Along the lines of beemommy, I'd want a badge for being called collect, from jail, 3 times in one day, for weeks at a time. As for documentation, I want a "get out of filling out this form" card, like a monopoly "get out of jail" card.
But whereever you put them, I do not need them to look like gray hairs or pounds on my rear.
Oh! Oh! I know! I want the badge to be in the shape of a big piece of tape that you can put over a child's mouth (or other body part) to just not have to DEAL with it.