This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Friday, September 3, 2010


So we're thinking that if we fire the kids, then they'll have no motivation to improve. So the new potential plan is to put them on probation/ corrective action.

We'll probably still do Soup Kitchen as an object lesson to show them what it might be like to be unemployed. I'm thinking I'll make a couple of kinds of soup (probably vegetable beef and chicken noodle) - heavy on the veggies and healthy! They can eat the soup lovingly made by Mom for breakfast, snack and dinner, and for lunch at school either canned soup or a thermos of soup.

We were trying to think of what kinds of things happen in the real world if you're put on probation/ corrective action.

  • Demotion - having child do more menial chores, the ones others may not want. If your responsibility is cut then you lose privileges as well.
  • Hours/salary cut - reduction in allowance?
  • Go back and put it right - spend some time re-doing chores to the best of their ability - meeting parent's standards.
  • Additional training - Have Hubby and I together give them instruction on how to properly do each of their chores.
  • Mentor/additional supervision - Have someone "supervise" them while doing the chores. Require them to have their chores initialed by a caregiver.
  • Counseling sessions - Assessments of how the child is doing and what progress, if any is being made toward goals. Solicit child's input on what's working, what's not, what might work, and what should be tried next.
  • Require personal, financial or substance abuse counseling - talk about problem in counseling, give financial counseling, and/or find substance abuse counseling depending on need.
  • Reduction in responsibilities and authority - not allowed to do chores that require others to count on you (like feeding the dogs or cleaning high traffic areas), not allowed to supervise others (or maybe not allowed to interact with others at all to protect others' health or safety). Verbal/Written Reprimand - Goes on their permanent record - past performance is most likely remembered when considering child for future tasks (driving and other privileges)
  • Commitment to improve obtained in writing - have a written agreement with the child, detailing what is needed to get off probation and a committment to do so.

So once the child is told why they're being put on probation, then we have to document next steps. Here's a great list I found of reasons for corrective action:

The Official Reasons for Using the Disciplinary Process

(1) Inefficiency
“Inefficiency” means a wasting of time, energy, or materials. It refers to the quantity or amount of an employee’s performance. Inefficiency should be a more common cause for progressive corrective disciplinary action. This is because inefficiency is usually easy to measure.

(2) Incompetency
“Incompetent” means incapable, unqualified, or inadequate. It refers to the quality of an employee’s performance. The employee may lack the necessary skills to perform the job. He may perform well, but not often enough. The employee may not be performing as well as he once did. His performance may be lacking the necessary quality expected.

It is rare that an employee is disciplined for incompetence. The exceptions most often occur during the probationary period.

(3) Dishonesty
“Dishonesty” means untrustworthy, lacking honesty, gained by falseness. Examples of dishonesty are such things as: theft of money or materials, fraudulent reporting of time, or even a presentation of facts designed to create a false conclusion. A charge of dishonesty is one of the most serious charges that can be brought against an employee. An act of dishonesty violates the public trust.

(4) Insubordination
“Insubordination” means refusal to follow the lawful orders or directives of a proper authority. It is important to let an employee know that the failure to follow a lawful order will result in insubordination to give them a chance to obey the order. If they still refuse to obey the order, then charge them with insubordination. An example of insubordination is a truck driver who refuses to take his truck out when it snows, despite being lawfully ordered to do so.

(5) Neglect of Duty
“Neglect of Duty” means a failure to perform a duty or responsibility required of a position.
For example: An employee fails to lock a building for which he is responsible. He would be guilty of neglect of duty in failing to secure the building.

(6) Failure of Good Behavior
“Failure of Good Behavior” covers a variety of behaviors. Some examples are: a conviction for a criminal charge, discourteous treatment of the public, an accumulation of minor infractions of rules and regulations within a short period of time. A failure of good behavior may also occur off the job. If so, it must affect the employee’s ability to perform the job or the public’s confidence in the employee’s ability before it would be subject to disciplinary action.

(7) Substance Abuse
“Substance Abuse” means a use of drugs or alcohol that adversely influences an employee’s performance, endangers his own health and safety, or endangers his co-workers or the general public. Examples of substance abuse would be the use of drugs or alcohol on the work site, or reporting for work under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

(8) Excessive Absenteeism
“Excessive Absenteeism” is used when an employee has unexcused absences from the job. Employees are expected to be at work when scheduled. Failure to report when scheduled may result in a charge of Excessive Absenteeism.
(9) Violation of the Rules and/or RRHAFTBA(LL)
Willful violation of the rules

An employee may be the subject of the disciplinary process for more than one reason. For example, a person charged with dishonesty may also be guilty of failure of good behavior.


cshellz said...

I'd like to use your list to post on the fridge under "Reasons for loss of Privileges". Very clear cut :)

marythemom said...

Would you believe it's from a city in Ohio I think? I downloaded their whole corrective action document,and it was amazing how it compares to working with special needs kids!!!

Lots of warnings and counseling, very clear rules and boundaries, many admonitions to stay calm and unemotional... you could change a few words like I did and no one would know!