This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

No news is good news

Thursday was Bear's IEP / ARD meeting. He said repeatedly that he wasn't going. I knew to just ignore it. When it came time he either would or wouldn't go, and if a big deal wasn't made of it then he probably would not go. Turned out his class was taking a test, so they had him there for just the transition portion.

The transition portion (what Bear plans to do when he graduates) was a waste of time. Basically Bear said he planned to live on his own and work as either an underwater welder (not an option) or a high school ag/shop teacher.

After Bear left I asked the team if they honestly believe Bear could make it though 2 years of junior college and 4 years of college. Those that spoke at all said of course he caaan. The better they knew him, the quieter they were. I pursued the question for quite awhile before I finally got someone to acknowledge the fact that he has to be motivated to do this and willing to ask for help. So in other words, probably not going to happen. I was hoping we could brainstorm some ideas for things he can do that he might enjoy, but we moved on.

It was decided that Bear will continue going to the special school through lunch time and continue with 2 classes at the regular high school in the afternoon. They're going to try to get him in a special reading class since he failed the Language Arts statewide assessment test. Technically it should be writing since that was the part he did the worst on, but that wasn't an option. There was a software accommodation that I had talked to the Occupational therapist about that it was my understanding was supposed to be in place, but no one had done it. That will be looked into.

One thing we talked about was cheating. We have some proof that he was doing it (from the person who he was with when he was supposedly hiding in the woods). Hubby brought this up and the regular ed teacher on the team mentioned a couple of times she'd confronted him with cheating in her class. She seemed to think that since he grinned and acknowledged he was busted that this meant something. We pointed out that there were no consequences and she also realized that he still hadn't turned in the assignment. I think she might be getting a clue.

The teachers said he couldn't really be cheating often because there are only 6-8 kids in his class and they would notice if the assignments matched. It wasn't until Hubby and I were processing later that I realized Bear goes to two different schools. If he takes a class at the public high school then he could get the assignment from a kid in the special school, and vice versa. Plus, he's pretty manipulative, I wouldn't be surprised if he weren't talking people into doing his work for him. He's still using the same books and following the same curriculum as the regular ed kids, just not going into as much detail. He could easily copy their answers on things that match.

All in all it wasn't the best or worst ARD ever.

Afterward we talked to the AP(Assistant Principal) about what was going on with the possible Class B misdemeanor. He said he'd talked to the deputy and even the deputy didn't know what was going to happen. If they decided to press charges then Bear would be picked up from the high school and kept overnight and go in front of a judge in the morning - at which point they would give him a court date, probably 3 months away. Then at that court date it would be decided what his consequences would be ($500-1500 in fines, 0-90 days in jail, and/or possibly community service). Bear wasn't picked up on Friday so the odds are good he won't be charged.

Honestly have no idea if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

It's good in that it won't go on his permanant record. He probably wouldn't have learned anything from it anyway. We don't have to worry about how Kitty would handle it. No having to worry about what would happen with school (what does happen?).

It's bad in that he learns he's going to get away with this kind of behavior without consequences. Yes, he got FAIR Club consequences, and one day of ISS, but he ignores those.

1 comment:

Miz Kizzle said...

The future doesn't look good for Bear, not if he thinks he's going to become an underwater welder or a teacher. He hasn't shown any indication that he has the ability or desire to buckle down and do the hard work that's required for either of those careers.
I'm reminded of a Simpsons episode where the kids take standardized aptitude tests and Bart's results indicate that he'll become a drifter.
I don't understand why the school personnel aren't more concerned about his failure to complete assignments, cheating and cutting class. Is that just the way things are in public schools or do you think they're given up on Bear?