After the movie we curled up under the covers and watched an action movie (Macgruder - which I mostly slept through so have no idea what it was about. Hubby said I wouldn't like it.) Then we talked. (Yes, I know. We're such party animals. Don't hate!). Late nights are good for confessions and talking about feelings, so Hubby talked about something that's been bothering him a lot.
He thinks he's going to die soon. Not in the melodramatic way the kids say it, but in the scary, "my dad died in his 50s" way (Hubby is 45). Hubby has been experiencing great leg pain when he tries to exercise (just like his dad who died of a heart attack before the cancer could kill him). Hubby has looked up his symptoms on line and is pretty sure he has peripheral artery disease, like his dad. PAD is supposed to be pretty treatable, but Hubby is very depressed about it.
Our horrible insurance is finally expiring at the end of the year (5 visits a year... for the WHOLE family and a $500 cap on medication... for the WHOLE family - luckily we were able to keep Bear and Kitty on Medicaid to pay for their visits and meds and the rest of us are pretty healthy (once I stopped taking meds for my mild bipolar symptoms and didn't have to see my doctor regularly any more). Still not sure what we're going to do, but it'll be cheaper and more effective than what we have.
So the question is, do I encourage him to see the doctor and chance that it will be seen as a "preexisting" or "disqualifying" condition or wait until January when he gets new individual insurance from an independent rep?
The main problem is Hubby has decided that since he is under so much stress, he doesn't have time to take care of himself. He can't really exercise (because of the whole - "collapsing from the pain after a minute on the treadmill" thing), and he eats horribly when he's not home because he can't seem to stop himself. Food at home is pretty healthy, but he eats a lot and goes back for cheese sandwiches and hotdogs. My step-dad has/had PAD and he took Niacin, which we have as one of Bear's supplements, so I encouraged Hubby to take it, but he HATES taking meds (which is kind of ironic since he pops Rolaids/Tums type things like candy), so I have a feeling it isn't going to happen.
Anyway, Hubby has been talking about what's going to happen to us when he dies!! (Like within the next two years!) He worries about our debts and our failing company. The fact that I don't have a job. What would happen if I quit working at our company and took a "real job." What will happen with our house and its mortgages (since we refinanced, he's pretty sure we no longer have death insurance - where they pay for the house if he dies - which he used to). All the credit card debt (we took on a lot when we bought the company). Etc.
All of this is added to the already huge stress he has on his shoulders from working full-time, helping out with our company, a lawsuit we're destined to lose, teaching scuba... and of course the kids and me.
He's been dealing with the stress of his health for awhile, and even mentioned it once before, but he went into more detail this weekend, and wanted to talk about plans for what would happen if he died soon. He said that was why he was trying to do more with the kids, especially Bear (who got to do a lot of stuff this weekend with the school team he is on - like go to another kid's house for pizza after the homecoming game and not getting home until after midnight - Hubby went with him).
So much stress, and it hasn't helped him that I'm mildly depressed and sitting home most days instead of trying to drum up business for our company.
Bless his heart.
(No really, not just a Southern saying... will you please pray for his heart?)
While you're at it, if you're the praying "type" will you please pray for my friend Caty? She has a bleeding disorder and was in a minor car accident last weekend. She seemed fine, but the pain wouldn't stop. They did CAT scans and MRIs and didn't see any bleeding, but she's still in pain, and that's not good. She went to the ER a couple of days ago and we don't know much else.