This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


Still don't know what's going to happen with the criminal charges against Bear (for writing a false deposition), but were told that if they decide to press charges there will be an arrest warrant and he will be taken into custody. Scary.

The school has given him ISS today (in school suspension). He'll stay at the special school all day today instead of going to the regular high school in the afternoon like he normally does. He doesn't get to go on a fieldtrip for which he'd earned points. He also loses all his accrued points and can't visit the school point store.

Tomorrow is his annual IEP meeting. Apparently before this the school had already decided that he didn't need to have any more out classes at the regular high school. It sounds like they were going to keep status quo (most of the day at the special school, and 2 classes every afternoon at the regular high school). No one is really sure what to recommend now, so my guess is it will stay the same.

I shared my biggest concern with the special school principal - that Bear might have lost his motivation to attend school and do well now that the Horseman team is done for the year. We should try to figure out another motivator for him. He wants a shop class, but it didn't work with his schedule this semester and he probably can't start mid-semester even if he does get more classes at the regular ed high school. The principal suggested next year, but I think that's too far away (Bear doesn't think that far ahead), plus Bear is still not planning on being here next year.

So now that we know what the school is doing, and I've had some time to think I've got Bear's FAIR Club assignment. Whew, he's going to hate me!

Writing Assignment: We want to help you develop trust so that you can live a happier, more productive life. To help you with this goal, you will be given a journal containing assignments to complete. If you appear to be working on your assignments, including your daily check-in, and asking for help, you will NOT be in the FAIR Club. Not being RRHAFTBALL, not working steadily on your chores and journal and of course getting into any more trouble will put you immediately in the FAIR Club.
Extra Chores: There will be no extra chores unless you go into the FAIR Club at which point chores will be assigned.

The journal includes: Check In sheets (which he'd been trying to do verbally, but will now have to do in writing since that wasn't working) and a bunch of handouts based on some articles I adapted from the website Handling Irrational Beliefs handout (7 pages of reading and questions including having to fill out 3 Changing Personal Beliefs pages; Building Trust handout (5 pages of reading and questions), multiple Self Affirmation Statement handouts. Activities: Self affirmation statement writing and posting of 3x5 cards with affirmation statements he comes up with, writing of 3 letters to people he doesn't trust, and a Trust walk with someone he wants to build trust with.

I modified these to his reading level as much as I could, but they are still way too long. Still, this isn't going to be easy and asking for help is a good thing. So we'll see. Need to try to think of a motivator too. Maybe a deadline. Hmmm.....

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