This blog is my place to vent and share resources with other parents of children of trauma. I try to be open and honest about my feelings in order to help others know they are not alone. Therapeutic parenting of adopted teenagers with RAD and other severe mental illnesses and issues (plus "neurotypical" teens) , is not easy, and there are time when I say what I feel... at the moment. We're all human!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Lunch Money

Hubby decided to talk to Bear about the lunch money issue. Bear claimed that he’d only borrowed about $10 from a friend and that back when he had money earlier he’d been loaning some of it to his friends so they were just “paying him back.” He claimed a teacher had given him money for a school lunch a couple of weeks ago that he didn’t believe he was supposed to pay back. (According to the school he’s been getting lunches a couple of times a week and many drinks and snacks). He continued to claim that he didn’t take his brother’s money.

I’ve been flat on my back with stomach flu all weekend so didn’t have any input into this. Hubby has major issues with disciplining kids when he’s not 100% sure they did it. So Bear has pretty much gotten away with this. I am obviously not in agreement at all, but by the time I recovered it was already done. I’ve asked the school to let me know if they have any more evidence, but I’m assuming we will never be able to “prove” that Bear lied about this.

I think this kind of thing only makes Bear's illness worse. He will see this as having gotten away with it. Things like losing trust will not register with him. It will only be one more reason to feel persecuted by me when I don't allow him to do something because I don't trust him - "for no reason." I hate stomach flu! Maybe I should still confront him now that I'm better - after all it would be harder to lie to me since I actually talked to the school director, but he'll have had lots of time to come up with yet another story. *sigh*


Anonymous said...

Trust the Holy Spirit on this one, Mary. You got the stomach flu and couldn't do your mom thing... maybe there was a reason. Trust hubby and trust God for putting you in this position this weekend.

Kristina P. said...

Mary, thanks for you comment! And apparently, you've been lurking! I always love to read more adoption blogs, so I am adding you to my Reader!